As announced in the weirdest press release we’ve ever read, two people will be married on April 25 in the first-ever Spam-themed wedding at the official Spam Museum in Austin, Minnesota.
British Spam super-fan Mark “I Love SPAM” Benson—and yes, that is his legal name, and no, you cannot make this shit up— is a long-time devotee of the salty meat pâté. Both his father and his grandfather worked at the Liverpool Spam Manufacturing facility, so Spam is in Benson’s blood, so to speak. Benson’s fiancee, Anne Mousley, had the idea to give Benson the perfect dream wedding at the Spam Museum. She contacted the Spam brand and found the company was more than happy to assist the couple in achieving their Spammy dreams.
The nuptials will be lead by Spam Brand Manager Jaynee Sherman, a self-declared “Spaminister.” The ceremony will take place among the brightly colored exhibits of the Spam Museum, which includes a mock-world market, various “canstuments” and a gift shop. After the ceremony, the newlyweds and their two daughters Milly and Evie will embark on a honeymoon to the annual SPAM Jam Festival in Waikiki, Hawaii. Afterwards, they will return to Liverpool, where they will continue making their favorite Spam recipes, which include Spam Omelettes, Spam Casserole, Spam and Cheese Toasties and Spam Breakfast Fry-Up.
We’re attaching the wedding invitation and announcement below, just in case you’re starting to think this is fake news (we wouldn’t blame you, in these circumstances). We wish Mark and Anne the best of luck in their new married life, and we suggest Paste’s article on the art of pâtés.
Also, um, we might’ve spent way too long looking through the Spam official recipes, and we’re definitely interested in a few, such as the Hawaiian Spam Burger, Spam Mmmmusubi, Spam Hello Kitty Musubi and these curious Spammy Tots. Like … are we crazy for thinking a lot of these recipes look kind of awesome?