Every year, high schools classes hand out superlatives to individual classmates for any number of mostly inconsequential personality traits. Awards like “Best Dressed” and “Most Popular” are handed to kids who probably don’t need the confidence boost.
Here at Paste, we’ve decided to follow the example of oh-so-many yearbooks and create our own batch of superlatives. We’re focusing in on Premier League forwards, a motley group of goal scorers who do the glory work of putting the ball in the back of the net.
There are a few rules: A player can only win one superlative, so while someone like…say, the sadly injured Zlatan, may think he’s the best at all of these things, it’s only fair that we spread the wealth. We wouldn’t want anyone’s head to get too big, now would we?