In an apparent effort to prove that his client isn’t necessarily the biggest abuser on the internet today, Trump’s primary defense lawyer in the Russia case, Marc Kasowitz, was caught threatening a stranger over email, per Politico. The recipient had read a particularly negative story about Kasowitz and so emailed the lawyer a message with the subject line “Resign Now.”
Naturally, as you do when you get an email from a stranger, Trump’s lawyer lost his freaking mind. Between 9:30 and 10pm on Wednesday, Kasowitz went on an epic, Trumpian tirade against the man he’d never met. Over the course of several emails, Kasowitz wrote, ”“I’m on you now. You are fucking with me now. Let’s see who you are. Watch your back, bitch.” Feeling that didn’t truly encapsulate his stunted emotions, Kasowitz challenged the man—who responded to his first emails politely—to a phone call battle:
Call me. Don’t be afraid, you piece of shit. Stand up. If you don’t call, you’re just afraid. I already know where you live, I’m on you. You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise. Bro.
Invoking “bro” as a challenge? That’s when you know a possibly alcoholic asshole is ready to go.
The man on the receiving end of these threats quickly forwarded the chain to the FBI, pointing out lines such as, “Already know where you live, I’m on you.”
What makes this story truly wonderful is that Kasowitz’s other client is AMC. Because of this, he had to (on literally the same day) file court documents condemning the email tirades of Walking Dead creator Frank Darabont. Maybe he read Darabont’s profanity-fueled rants and felt a little inspired to create some emotional anguish of his own.