Can Donald Trump chill for, like, one second? The answer, apparently, is a big, fat “no.” Even during a recent speech to the Boy Scouts of America, the president couldn’t resist stroking his ego and soaking up some validation from an audience of kids. Expectedly, Stephen Colbert used this as a golden opportunity to crack some jokes on The Late Show.
During his short speech to a crowd of about four, maybe five million people*, Trump tackled a variety of topics that Boy Scouts care about, including Obamacare, energy exporting and the LYING media. One of the most pressing issues the Boy Scouts face is the inability to say “Merry Christmas,” which Trump swiftly addressed: “Under the Trump administration, you’ll be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again when you go shopping, believe me.” He then wished the audience a Merry Christmas and said that the phrase has been downplayed recently, and, as Colbert notes, that’s because it’s July.
To conclude his bit, Colbert recites the updated Boy Scout oath: “On my honor, I will do my best to make a tremendous amount of money and buy a sex yacht like the old guy the President knows, to keep myself physically strong with golf and steak, and refer all questions to outside counsel. Merry Christmas.”
Merry Christmas, everyone. We got you a failing democratic system. There’s no gift receipt, so sorry, you can’t return it. Watch Colbert’s bit above.
*The crowd size was enhanced to appease Donald Trump.