Stormy Daniels: Donald Trump Has "A Dick like the Mushroom Character from Mario Kart"

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Stormy Daniels: Donald Trump Has "A Dick like the Mushroom Character from Mario Kart"

Poor Toad. Not only does he have one of the more thankless roles in the world of Super Mario, serving as the anonymous, easily replaceable attendant to Princess Peach, but now he’ll have to spend the rest of his life knowing that he apparently looks like Donald Trump’s penis. This revelation comes courtesy of Stormy Daniels and her upcoming book Full Disclosure, as quoted by the Guardian. And maybe the worst part of it is Daniels doesn’t even get Toad’s name right.

Per the Guardian:

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart…

What a dispiriting turn of of events for Toad, the most loyal and unassumingly heroic character in videogame history, reduced to a nameless mushroom and compared to the sad, diseased nub of our leaking garbage bag of a president. You should probably prepare yourself for a flood of pieces comparing the presidential penises of yore to other Mario Kart characters—hopefully the harried online content-producers of America can avoid the low-hanging fruit of comparing any of them to Mario Kart 8 Deluxe’s Dry Bones.

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