It’s been a few years since Kentucky Fried Chicken was really able to bury the needle of our WTF-o-meter into the red. After all, once you release stuff like the Double Down into the world, the bar for “look at this crazy shit KFC is doing” becomes so much higher to clear. Sure, they’ve done crazy things like introduce the “Chizza” (that’s fried chicken pizza ) or a particularly dumb-looking chicken ‘n waffles version of the Double Down, but it’s become a game of diminishing returns. These days, when we talk about KFC, it’s usually in reference to our ever-evolving ranking of every comedian to portray Colonel Sanders, which is now up to 15.
But wait—KFC isn’t done yet. Turns out, in order to horrify us all over again, the key was not to introduce a new food product at all. Instead, all they had to do was start manufacturing chicken-scented firewood. Good god, KFC.
That’s right: Allow us to introduce you to the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog. According to the fast food giant, it’s a long-burning fireplace treat that just so happens to smell like the kitchen of a KFC. Is this a desirable quality? We leave that to you to decide, although we shudder to think of how exactly each log is being infused with chicken essence.
KFC is starting to sell the logs online today, at KFCFirelogs.com. They’re advertised to burn for up to three hours, and retail for $18.99. Can someone tell us if that’s a competitive price for chicken-scented logs? Does Church’s have a discount chicken log that can undercut this one, price-wise?
“At KFC, we have always been proud of our role in bringing loved ones together at the dinner table around a bucket of our world-famous fried chicken,” said Andrea Zahumensky, the chief marketing officer of KFC US, in a statement. “Now, this winter we’re bringing all the things we love — family, friends and fried chicken — together around the fire with our scented firelog.”
What more is there to do, besides tip our Santa cap to KFC? We thought their craziest days were behind them, but if they’ve got more stuff like this log in their pocket, they might just be scratching the surface.