A List of National Emergencies Greater Than the Alleged “Humanitarian Crisis” at the U.S. Border

In no particular order:

1. Climate Change
2. Racism/White Nationalism
3. General Bigotry/Sexism/Homophobia/Transphobia
4. The Opioid Crisis
5. Health Care Costs/Availability
6. Student Debt
7. Real Estate Prices/Renter Abuse
8. All the Russia Stuff
9. Wealth Inequality
10. Minorities Being Killed by Police
11. Widespread Poverty/Homelessness
12. Anxiety/Depression/Suicide Rates
13. Wall Street Deregulation
14. Mass Incarceration/War on Drugs
15. Forever Wars
16. Unchecked Executive Power
17. Pollution
18. Water Contamination
19. Obesity/Diabetes/Sugar Ubiquity
20. The Actual Humanitarian Crisis at the Border, i.e. Child Separation/ICE Cruelty/Deportation
21. Our Unwavering Support for Dictators and Apartheid States
22. Partisan, Unaccountable Supreme Court
23. The fact that all positive social change is hindered by corporate oligarchy
24. The Too-Low Minimum Wage
25. Abysmal Treatment of Veterans
26. School Shootings
27. Gun Violence
28. The Death of Unions
29. Gender Pay Equality
30. Economy-Killing Trade Wars
31. Technological Alienation
32. Information Security
33. Oil Dependence
34. Corn (Yes, seriously)
35. Immigration, but Not in the Horrible Xenophobic Way That Trump Means It
36. All the Other Serious Ones That I’m a Bad Person For Forgetting

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167: Aliens (the Bad Kind)

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1,025: The NFL’s QB Crisis

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2,935: Sour Patch Kids Don’t Taste as Good Anymore

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10,343: The Spiritual Pain of Having to Fold Laundry

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234,937: Baths are Never as Good as You Think They’ll Be

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1,303,624: Airplane Food, or Something