There’s been a lot of talk of “milkshaking” lately, the dangerous and thrilling new form of political violence stirring fear in alt-right blowhards. For those unaware of the dangerous new trend, milkshaking is when you throw the delicious drink at a politician during a rally—you know, the same harmless act that we actually laugh at in movies and television shows whenever a character throws their drink at a bad date.
This terrifying new form of political warfare is so threatening that members of the Scottish Police actually stopped McDonald’s from selling McFlurry’s near a Nigel Farage rally; meanwhile the radical socialist monarch known only as Burger King continued to offer the drinks at their Scotland locations. Farage’s efforts to dodge the dessert continued last week, when a group of milkshake-wielding protestors trapped the pro-Brexit politician on his bus.
Seriously—this is the shape of political discourse in 2019. Politicians are calling on fast-food chains to stop selling milkshakes and cowering in fear of their constituents instead of actually legislating.
Anyway, last week there was an attack on one Milo Yiannopoulos, the right-wing provocateur who was famously deplatformed following his actually violent calls-to-arms against SNL’s Leslie Jones.
Per a video shared by Twitter user @KamalWrites, Milo was milkshaked while on the campaign trail for the all-around disgusting Carl Benjamin in Britain, which only came to our attention nearly a week after the fact. Know why? Because nobody cared enough to inform us at the time.
Milo’s deplatforming was so swift, and so just, that the man found himself in several million dollars’ worth of debt following the utter collapse of his book deals, national tours and television appearances. The virulent bigot used to be nigh-inescapable, his xenophobic remarks following you at every turn on the internet like the eyes of a creepy portrait in a haunted house. Then he got the boot from social media, and today we don’t even hear about an act of severe dairy-based political violence until nearly a full week later.
In other words, as we argued in April, deplatforming works.
Milo isn’t the only figure who’s been deplatformed, but he is the only one that we’ve discovered to have been milkshaked.
Watch Yiannopoulos enjoy a surprise dessert below.