So, like, back in the 1950s, when everything was, like, in black and white and stuff, this dude named Jack Kerouac went on an epic road trip, fratting hard and smoking some primo bud, and then he wrote a book about it, which was also, like, totally awesome.
Okay, so maybe that’s not quite right, but now, thanks to Mike Lacher of Wonder-Tonic, we have On The Bro’d, a reimagining of Kerouac’s stream-of-consciousness classic as told by the modern-day American bro. In Lacher’s version, instead of ramblings about the Great Plains and digging jazz, Sal and Dean pound brewskis, frequent Buffalo Wild Wings and learn how to play “Wonderwall” on guitar. The results? Totally awesome, brah.
For a taste of the glory that is On The Bro’d, check out the first passage below:
“I first met Dean not long after Tryscha and I hooked up. I had just gotten over a wicked fucking hangover that I won’t bother to talk about, except that it had something to do with a six-foot-five douchebag and a beer bong. With the coming of Dean Moriarty began the part of my life you could call my life on the bro’d. Before that I’d often dreamed of going West to see hot LA actress chicks and try In N’ Out burgers, always vaguely planning and never taking off. Dean is the perfect bro for the road because he knows how to fucking party.”
And, of course, no bro-focused reinvention of Kerouac’s Beat novel would be complete without a skewering the quote that graces so many Facebook bro-files:
“The only bros for me are the awesome ones, the ones who are mad to chug, mad to party, mad to bone, mad to get hammered, desirous of all the chicks at Buffalo Wild Wings, the ones who never turn down a Bud Light Lime, but chug, chug, chug like fucking awesome players exploding like spiders across an Ed Hardy shirt and in the middle you see the silver skull pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’”
Shoutout to former Paste Intern Caroline Klibanoff for tipping us off to this magical blog!