Look What You Did You Little Jerk: Real Doctor Analyzes Injuries in Home Alone

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It’s never fun to reexamine nostalgic pop culture items that had a distinct impact on your childhood—however, there is no denying that the injuries Kevin McCallister inflicts upon the Wet Bandtis Marv and Harry in Home Alone were probably much more serious than depicted in the movie.

This precious 8-year-old transforms into a damage-inflicting machine by placing several clever booby traps to thwart away the intruders. With age, some of us have come to question just how much of this pain the Wet Bandits could endure before succumbing to serious, if not life-threatening injuries.

And so, Lauren Hansen of The Week sat down with Dr. Ryan St. Clair of the Weill Cornell Medical College to investigate the nature of the injuries suffered by the Wet Bandits in Home Alone.

As expected, Dr. St. Clair deduced the injuries inflicted up Marv and Harry were slightly more serious than PG-rated results. For example, the iron that strikes Marv in the face has the potential to lead to a “blowout fracture, and can lead to serious disfigurement and debilitating double vision if not repaired properly.”

Furthermore, the burning doorknob is approximately 751 degrees Fahrenheit should it be glowing red in the dark, and as a result, it is “not that far off” to claim Harry’s hand may burst into flames.

In conclusion, Dr. St. Clair finds the injuries inflicted by Kevin much more serious and threatening than the creepy neighbor who “weakly slaps” them with a shovel. It is a good thing that this movie does not rely upon realism. Read the whole thing here.

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