The Total Poser's Guide to the 2010 Oscars Best-Picture Nominees

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The Total Poser's Guide to the 2010 Oscars Best-Picture Nominees

Uh-oh. The Oscars are tomorrow and you haven’t seen a single one of the best-picture nominees. How in the world are you going to impress people and woo potential mates at your office/friend’s/whatever Oscar party? Don’t fret, reader. Paste has you covered. Using our total poser’s guide below, you can at least fake your way through the evening’s biggest category. You’re welcome:

Movie: Avatar
Your Opinion as a Numeric Rating: 92/100
One-Sentence Wisdom: “What [James] Cameron lacks in storytelling shock, he more than makes up for in utter awe.” Tim Regan-Porter

Movie: The Blind Side
Your Opinion as a Numeric Rating: 55/100
One-Sentence Wisdom: “It’s a film that deserves praise, but for being mild-tempered, family-friendly fare—not for being revolutionary in any way, and not in the form of an Academy Award.” Christina Lee
Bonus Knowledge: Feel like arguing that Sandra Bullock is bringing back the marquee Hollywood star? Here are your crib notes.

Movie: District 9
Your Opinion as a Numeric Rating: 65/100
One-Sentence Wisdom: “It’s a decent action flick, at least as stimulating as the Terminator sequel that opened the summer, but it’s a film that might have been a modern science fiction classic if it had spent a little more time in the incubator.” Robert Davis
Bonus Knowledge: Want to be remembered for your witty ability to cross reference genre flicks? Drop a little science-fiction from this District 9/Plan 9 From Outer Space comparison chart.

Movie: An Education
Your Opinion as a Numeric Rating: 60/100
One-Sentence Wisdom: “These characters are seeking balance between stability and life’s pleasures, but An Education can’t seem to handle the difficult task of finding that balance for itself.” Robert Davis

Movie: The Hurt Locker
Your Opinion as a Numeric Rating: 73/100
One-Sentence Wisdom:The Hurt Locker hones in on the fatalistic psychology of the Iraqi war zone more convincingly than any other recent film about soldiers on the battlefield.” Robert Davis