Hey, remember a few months ago when those impossibly depressing pictures from Corey Feldman’s birthday party came out? Corey Feldman does! And to prove he’s a good sport about the whole “sad lingerie party” thing, he and his entourage of semi-nude, dead-eyed models are back with a bonkers new single named “DUH!”
Unfortunately, it’d be pretty much impossible to cover the thousand or so things that make “DUH!” the greatest music video since Crispin Glover’s “Clowny Clown Clown.” Instead, we’ll be counting off our very favorite moments from the exquisite train wreck, sure to be this year’s best song written by an adult man named “Corey.”
1. Corey Calls His Tablet and Cell Phone His “Instruments”
To a mere mortal, a smartphone is little more than a socially acceptable Game Boy, but once in the Feldog’s hands, these devices become “instruments”—shiny, rectangular Stradivariuses channeling unfettered brilliance from his mullet-wrapped genius brain. Okay, technically it’s director/co-star Tanna Fredrick who uses the word, but judging by the number of half-naked angels featured in the video, you have to imagine Feldman exercised pretty comprehensive creative control, dialogue included.
2. Feldman’s Heavenly YOLO Alternative, DUH
Speaking of angels, wow, Feldman sure does like a gal with wings, huh? Not only does “DUH!” star the angel-costumed companions that creepily live in his “Feldmansion” (actually in real life what he calls his house) but the song title itself is an acronym for “Done Under a Halo.” Unfortunately, it’s not very clear what “Done Under a Halo” is supposed to mean. Unless, of course, we’re talking about what these women are physically doing under their plastic halos, which would make “DUH” mean “dying slowly inside.”
3. The Reverent Nod to Classic Television
One really classy touch in “DUH!” is the extended homage to I Love Lucy, which mined friendship and marriage for material in the same way the video was inspired by delusional isolation. I can’t say I remember the episode when Ricky invited half a dozen belly dancers to live with him, but then again I haven’t seen a lot of the later episodes. Ms. Ball would surely be proud.
4. The Terrifying Michael Jackson Impression
Feldman may have been a close friend to the King of Pop, but in “DUH!” his Jackson impersonation is far more evocative of the Prince of Darkness or some kind of Scary Matador King. On the plus side, he’s pretty much a dead ringer for Robert Blake in Lost Highway.
5. “DUH!”’s Equal Parts Sad and Catchy Chorus
It’d be hard to call “DUH!” a good song, but it certainly is something of an earworm, especially the punishingly repetitive chorus. Ostensibly satirizing Feldman’s own egotism and insecurity, lines like “Do you think I’m cute?” take on an unintentionally melancholy air coming out of the mouth of man who has surrounded himself with women half his age. Either way, there’s a good chance I’ll be singing it in line at the grocery store.
6. His Rap
The moment the video really goes off the rails is when the Feldster launches into his clearly ICP-inspired hip-hop verse. Following in the footsteps of hundreds of middle-aged white guys before him, Feldman continues the venerable tradition of thinking rapping poorly constitutes a joke. He even says he’s the best rapper ever in the whole wide world! Because he’s not very good! Get it?
7. This Man is an Alien
What in God’s name has happened to this poor sweet boy’s face?