To the fangirl with fingers stained lavender from homemade silkscreens, to the frat bro whose koozie collection is more extensive than his iTunes library, to the mom wearing a Black Keys shirt to a Jack White concert, there are other ways to show your hip sensibilities. These ten artists have crafted attention-getting merch for your wearing, eating and art-ing pleasure. Some are edgy, some downright useful, though we don’t advise wearing a T-Swift apron to her concert. Because that’s, you know, more creepy.
10. Bastille’s “Bad Blood” Hot Sauce
We know you’re disappointed about the GWAR BBQ sauce shortage, but luckily for you the Brit boys of Bastille want to bring a little burn to their merch table. Because only real fans cure their hangover with a Bad Blood-y Mary.
9. Justin Timberlake’s “SexyBack” Undies
Fun fact, you used to be able to purchase SexyBack booty shorts. But we guess JT’s branding advisers thought this was a little too cocky (ie. Mastodon’s ASSTODON). With a more subtle approach, you’ll be the envy of the locker room.
8. Walk The Moon’s Watercolor Set
The out-there dance band, currently on tour with Panic! at the Disco, wants you to express yourself. That’s why your new coloring page isn’t paint-by-numbers, it’s a paint-by-impulse album cover. See also Yellow Bird Project Indie Rock Coloring Book, which includes coloring pages from several different artists.
7. Daniel Ellsworth and the Great Lakes’ Air Fresheners
These guys bring you literally everything you’ll need for a road trip: towel, beach ball, sunglasses, and yes, air fresheners. Though they’re not the first band to infiltrate your ride, these Nashville indie rockers are probably the only ones sporting sombreros while they’re at it. You’ll know all their names by the time the smell runs out!
6. The Katy Perry “Last Friday Night” Wig
All of Katy Perry’s hairstyles, including the lime green waves she’s rocking nowadays, and she decides to make a brown wig? Like all of the costumes available on her site, this is definitely one for the superfan, as it also comes with her mouthpiece from the “Last Friday Night” video.
5. Paramore’s Onesie Pyjamas.
Once the weather cools down these PJs will be the perfect attire for your rockin’ dorm room. With a zip-hood that lets you hide from the world (or shield your eyes from the roomie’s late-night studying) and pockets for chocolates, this onesie is perfect for your next angst-fest. Beware, vertically gifted people: these 28 inch inseams will be capris on you.
4. Metric’s PENdant for Fleet Labs
Profits from Fleet Labs’ unexpected jewelry (read: boot anklets and hair chains) go toward promoting artistic expression among children. Long story short, if you buy this pen, your purchase goes toward an orphanage recording studio. “The pen is mightier than the sword?” More like, “A pen ignites more than a bullet.”
3. The Jukebox the Ghost Passport
If you never quite got over the 90’s autograph book craze, this is the souvenir for you. To promote their album Safe Travels, Jukebox came up with this handy booklet, which has a space for your picture and several pages for bon voyage messages from your favorite bands.
2. Iggy Azalea’s Literal Fan
If you think about it, this is a great contribution to the concert experience, not to mention great marketing. You’re hot, you look hot, you buy a hot fan. Then you’re the hot fan with the fan. Folds up and fits in your pocket for festival season next year.
1. Taylor Swift Plays Martha Stewart
This one may take the cake. If heartbroken baking— or heartbaking— is your thing, look no further than the Taylor Swift Apron and matching oven mitt. You’ll be emblazoned with a photo of TSwift not baking, with a pocket for your Selena Gomez spatula. Oh, that’s not a thing? It should be. We’re eagerly anticipating the Miley Cyrus sledgehammer, by the way.
Ever bought a piece of wacky merch from your favorite musician? Better yet, were you able to nab one of Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” condoms? Tell us in the comments!