The 75 Best Twitter Accounts of 2014

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As proven by an especially tumultuous news year, Twitter can be informative, provocative and even moving—but mostly it’s just a convenient way to waste time. Consequently, almost all of our favorite tweeters in 2014 were folks that kept us entertained, whether it was with obscure Wikipedia facts or their own bizarre humor. You’ll recognize a few of these names from last year’s list, but trust us when we say all 75 of these short-form scribes deserve a follow.

75. Chelsea Peretti – @ChelseaVPeretti
Twitter Bio: One of the greats. Brooklyn Nine Nine, Kroll Show, Louie, Titanic. CAPS AREN’T YELLING THEY R ACTION MOVIE LEVEL INTENSITY TWEETING. Hour special Netflix NOV 14
Followers: 377K
Best Recent Tweet: What if it turned out Chris Brown was an elaborate Banksy 

74. Desus Nice – @desusnice
Twitter Bio: tweeting shirtless in red lobster eatin on shrimp | 1/2 of #DesusvsMero | | | IG: desusnice
Followers: 57.5K
Best Recent Tweet: Grandkids are cool but when you become elderly it’s the number of instagram likes you got that you’ll fondly reminisce on
Runner-Up: If u gotta transport your tree via the subway at rush hour, you should be forced to sit out Christmas this year

73. Ian Karmel – @IanKarmel
Twitter Bio: One of America’s Top 100 Ians. Stand-up comedian. Writer for the Late Late Show with James Corden. Wrote for Chelsea Lately. International Pizza Fiend.
Followers: 14.5K
Best Recent Tweet: My five favorite sports:
1) Basketball
2) Hoops
3) Hoopsketball
4) Baloncesto
5) Soccer* (*Basketball)
Runner-Up: I have too much “me time”... Like, I have a tenth favorite Sublime song.

72. jon hendren – @fart
Twitter Bio: internet idiot extraordinaire + @devops thought lord
Followers: 75.8K
Best Recent Tweet: smoking one of rob zombie’s dreads cures 3 types of cancer and causes 220 others
Runner-Up: the pope said dogs can be in heaven now so i guess i’m catholic

71. Faces in Things – @FacesPics
Twitter Bio: Admit it, you see a face.
Followers: 497K
Best Recent Tweet: For the love of God, GET IT OUT!
Runner-Up: Life can be pretty shocking under the sea

70. Paul F. Tompkins – @PFTompkins
Twitter Bio: A comedian.
Followers: 515K
Best Recent Tweet: The holidays are tough for many, but mostly me since a ska version of Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree started playing in this Rite-Aid.
Runner-Up: Hahaha “pardoning” a turkey still funny after all these years of executing humans like it’s Bible times hahaha good one @BarackObama

69. drewtoothpaste – @drewtoothpaste
Twitter Bio: Author of 3 daily sites: Toothpaste For Dinner, Married To The Sea, and The Worst Things For Sale. Email:
Followers: 37.5K
Best Recent Tweet: Secret Santa is an American tradition where someone disappoints you at work right before Christmas
Runner-Up: Kid is watching Pokemon but we are Creationist so when a little squirrel “evolves” I yell “GOD MADE IT A BETTER SQUIRREL” over the TV

68. stefan – @boring_as_heck
Twitter Bio: writer, dipshit
Followers: 54.4K
Best Recent Tweet: Hi folks, this is your captain speaking. How crazy is it that we’re about to FLY. I still can’t get over it. Wow. How does that even work.
Runner-Up: [grabs a free newspaper at the train station at the end of the day] Ah let’s see what’s in the news, from like 48 hours ago

67. jenny slate – @jenntslate
Twitter Bio: I’m an Animaniac. My instagram is jennyslate. I’m glad to be here and I love tons of stuff.
Followers: 154K
Best Recent Tweet: Maybe I’m projecting but I think my dogs really love it when I sing “Y’ALL READY FOR DIS? DA DA DA!” and then give them their food.

66. Conan O’Brien – @conanobrien
Twitter Bio: The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
Followers: 13.4M
Best Recent Tweet: I had a hunch China had passed America as the #1 economy when they started making all our “America is #1” hats.
Runner-Up: It just hit me: if they are real, we are stepping in piles and piles of ghost dung.

65. The Mountain Goats – @mountain_goats
Twitter Bio: treated as a wight on the cleric/undead matrix
Followers: 99.9K
Best Recent Tweet: and the Pulitzer for thinkpieces goes to…us. All of us. Great work everybody we wrote all the helpful thinkpieces about all of the things
Runner-Up: when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s annoying

64. Julie Klausner – @julieklausner
Twitter Bio: Host of HOW WAS YOUR WEEK. TV Writer. @Vulture correspondent. Author of I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR BAND. Natural redhead.
Followers: 77.1K
Best Recent Tweet: At a certain point with frozen yogurt toppings, you have to admit to yourself when you’re really just looking to eat wet candy with a spoon.
Runner-Up: If you have a baby or a French bulldog, please remember to dress it up like a COOKED turkey, not a live turkey. Thank you.

63. billy eichner – @billyeichner
Twitter Bio: Emmy nom’d host of BILLY ON THE STREET on FUSE. Full episodes now on Amazon! See clips on …! Also CRAIG on PARKS & RECREATION!
Followers: 266K
Best Recent Tweet: Except for that one year someone got hit in the head and died, the Macy’s Parade is actually pretty magical.
Runner-Up: Jesus would’ve loved how much women talked about their big asses this year.

62. Avery Monsen – @averymonsen
Twitter Bio: Author/illustrator of ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD, etc. Writer on BILLY ON THE STREET (S3.) Actor at UCB-NY. Vine person.
Followers: 5,204
Best Recent Tweet: MOVIE PITCH: Jurassic Park, except it’s an island of cloned Jeff Goldblums
Runner-Up: I don’t call them “trolls” or “cyber bullies.” I prefer “DIGIMON: Digital Monsters.”

61. VICE – @Vice_Is_Hip
Twitter Bio: We’re cool because you’re shit

(a parody, yeah?)
Followers: 92.6K
Best Recent Tweet: “We ain’t got time to be chatting to no muggles, yo!” – Meet the Mexican drug cartel who believe the Harry Potter films are real
Runner-Up: Why everyone is wrong about everything

60. Ian Bogost – @ibogost
Twitter Bio: @GeorgiaTech Professor, @TheAtlantic Contributing Editor, Author, Game Designer
Followers: 51K
Best Recent Tweet: Candy Crush Herzog Saga. Why do candies disappear when they match, and where do they go? Into the same abyss as Peggle balls? Nobody knows.
Runner-Up: In the distant future, natural history museums will be flanked by giant recreations of Optimus Prime and Buzz Lightyear instead of T Rex.

59. Joshua Malina – @JoshMalina
Twitter Bio: Hi. I ruined The West Wing.
Followers: 157K
Best Recent Tweet: My Top Ten Movies of the Year are: I haven’t seen ten movies.
Runner-Up: I have a burning need to be misunderstood.

68. Jim Gaffigan – @JimGaffigan
Twitter Bio: Male Model.
Followers: 2.21M
Best Recent Tweet: Watching commercials after Netflix feels like being on detention. “How did I ever do this?”
Runner-Up: THE NEWS IN SUMMARY: Humans are horrible.

57. Rob Kutner – @ApocalypseHow
Twitter Bio: Rob Kutner. Conan/Daily Show writer, co-creator of the new comedy-music album 2776. 80+ stars, 28 tracks, all for one great charity. Buy at
Followers: 28.7K
Best Recent Tweet: No one asked Cheney’s opinion on the #TortureReport: He is just magically summoned when anyone says “Torture” three times.
Runner-Up: The History Channel has gotten so horrible, it actually makes me nostalgic for Hitler.

56. Sad Tree – @sad_tree
Twitter Bio: Help
Followers: 7,201
Best Recent Tweet: I’m opening a pizza place that only uses different forms of currency for toppings it’s gonna be called Money Ova Everything it will be bad
Runner-Up: [Future Starbucks where robots are baristas]
O N E L A T T E F O R *fax machine noises*

Actually it’s pronounced *printer noises* but ty

55. kimmy – @arealliveghost
Twitter Bio: I’ll ruin your crops and eat your candy
Followers: 18.8K
Best Recent Tweet: scaredy cat? no…I prefer “fear genius”
Runner-Up: do they train forever 21 sales associates to say “welcome to forever” or did this one take the initiative to bum me the fuck out on her own

54. Kumail Nanjiani – @kumailn
Twitter Bio: The Meltdown with Jonah & Kumail premieres July 23rd on Comedy Central! First ep for free here!
Followers: 305K
Best Recent Tweet: When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Runner-Up: It should be news when Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t leave a party with a bunch of models.

53. Mark Leggett – @markleggett
Twitter Bio: You can tell a lot about a person by reading their bio.
Followers: 61.5K
Best Recent Tweet: Complaining about things you saw on Facebook is like complaining about getting garbage juice in your mouth after crawling into a dumpster.
Runner-Up: An NHL team needs make their jersey look like a tuxedo so Kevin Smith can have something to wear to film premieres.

52. andy levy – @andylevy
Twitter Bio: this account is followed by jake fogelnest and other celebrities
Followers: 175K
Best Recent Tweet: “why can’t they protest like mlk” say people who would’ve been pissed off by mlk
Runner-Up: star wars trailer is okay I guess but am I the only one who’s a little disappointed there’s nothing about the taxation of trade routes

51. Sam Grittner – @SamGrittner
Twitter Bio: I am the boat, I am the captain. @TonightonGIRLS
Followers: 42.2K
Best Recent Tweet: Do we even need New Year’s Eve this year? Literally all we’ve done is drop the ball.
Runner-Up: puts finger to earpiece
“What’s that? Oh? You’re sure? Ok… I’m being informed right now that I do not have an earpiece.”

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