Yesterday, Pepsi released an ad that did the impossible: it brought the country together in mutual agreement. That agreement was disdain, but we’re all on the same page that this is quite possibly the worst commercial ever created. If you haven’t seen it, get ready. It’s peak neoliberal wokeness infused with a desperate attempt to create brand loyalty through a confused series of half-assed activism.
out now! @pepsihttps://t.co/PBZmGhKQsR
— Kendall (@KendallJenner) April 4, 2017
What.
The.
Literal.
Fuck.
Was.
That.
Oh.
My.
God.
Pepsi.
Are.
You.
Serious.
In case you were wondering if this was some sort of genius swerve to get everyone talking about Pepsi, no, it wasn’t. Here is the statement they released after the ad nearly imploded the internet.
This is a global ad that reflects people from different walks of life coming together in a spirit of harmony, and we think that’s an important message to convey.
In a moment of poetic brilliance, their initial statement said “import” instead of “important.” Way to demonstrate a general baseline of competency Pepsi. Twitter was created for moments like this. Here are the best tweets from this easily preventable dogpile that Pepsi somehow didn’t see coming.
Who knew @pepsi really could bring everyone together (H/t @Roran_Stehl) pic.twitter.com/cmIQ7W7B61
— Kyle Foley (@KFoleyFL) April 4, 2017
Here’s a fun fact: Pepsi’s CEO sits on the same Trump economic advisory board that the Uber & Disney CEO’s resigned from.
— Jas Waters (@JasFly) April 5, 2017
Only shot in the #Pepsi ad that matters pic.twitter.com/oKwn3C3wFX
— Jameson Rich (@jameson_rich) April 5, 2017
We did this in Baltimore. Nothing changed @pepsipic.twitter.com/YveSvfmpYu
— $1 Pizza Papi (@YeahItsWilly) April 5, 2017
“But you said you wanted social media to talk about Pepsi.” – Advertising guy to Pepsi executive before agency is fired.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) April 5, 2017
.@pepsi Frank: What about a ‘Black Lives Matter’ ad campaign.
gets death stares
Frank: Okay, okay—’Blue Lives Matter.’ And Kylie Jenner. pic.twitter.com/98do8oZZVx
— dylan (@dyllyp) April 5, 2017
There’s no greater insult in life than a waiter/waitress at a restaurant replying with ‘Is Pepsi OK?’ after you ask for a Coke.
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) April 5, 2017
@DragonflyJonez It was Kendall and goddammit I hate myself for being able to tell the difference
— Dylan Haines (@DHaines1) April 5, 2017
Who brings a fucking standup bass to a protest anyway?
— Russ Bengtson (@russbengtson) April 5, 2017
J. Edgar Hoover takes aim from the grassy knoll. The motorcade approaches. He fires. JFK raises a #Pepsi to his lips, blocks the bullet.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 5, 2017
“I’M TELLIN’ YOU I GAVE THE OFFICER A PEPSI AND HE TOOK HIS HAND OFF HIS NIGHT STICK!”
“Whoa slow down lemme get this straight…” pic.twitter.com/pM1uy66vft
— Eric Haywood (@EricHaywood) April 5, 2017
This new Pepsi commercial is a bit much. pic.twitter.com/0diQcDgQ3u
— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) April 5, 2017
“I actually loved the Pepsi ad” pic.twitter.com/7aOktwvTT2
— Mitra Jouhari (@tweetrajouhari) April 5, 2017
My grandmother was the only person I ever knew that drank Pepsi. She also ate hog maws. So, there’s that.
— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) April 5, 2017
Has anyone done this yet? Twitter moves fast. pic.twitter.com/csD4Uf3C0y
— Tom Tomorrow (@tomtomorrow) April 5, 2017
Things the Protestors in the Kendall Jenner Ad Are Protesting:
• Non-color coordinated protests
• People over 23
• Like, the SYSTEM, man— Jesse Berney (@jesseberney) April 5, 2017
You 100% know a Pepsi exec in 2001 pitched a commercial where Paris Hilton stops a terrorist on a plane by giving them Pepsi.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 5, 2017
PROTESTER: I’d like equal rights
COP: [looks up from notepad] oof, we don’t have that, is pepsi ok— Albro (@bromanconsul) April 4, 2017
Idea for Pepsi/NFL commercial:
Exterior, Outside Stadium
Colin Kaepernick hands owner can of Pepsi
Immediately signs 7-year contract
— Alexander Goot (@AGoot18) April 4, 2017
Weird that everyone’s mad at Pepsi but no one complained about this Coke campaign: pic.twitter.com/9NzdmmGDin
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) April 4, 2017
— nick (@nick_pants) April 4, 2017
@ComfortablySmug We need to ban Pepsi in this country until we can figure out what the hell is going on
— Jim Thomas (@Jt856) April 4, 2017
You vs the ad she told you not to worry about pic.twitter.com/eWXSl2sqTb
— Almaqah (@_Almaqah) April 4, 2017
me: I’ll have a coke
waitress : is Pepsi ok?
me: oh I’m actually already not racist but thank you— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 4, 2017
You need to click on the tweet it’s quoting to get the full genius of this one.
Thank you Pepsi!!!!! https://t.co/uTfog2hqXp
— Caro (@socarolinesays) April 4, 2017
The Pepsi commercial will fit great in those discount O’Reilly ad spots.
— SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) April 4, 2017
Live bolder, live louder, live for now. @pepsipic.twitter.com/BjtTEuRZYD
— Ethan Anderton (@Ethan_Anderton) April 4, 2017
Pepsi: Remember when we set Michael Jackson‘s hair on fire, sending him into a spiral of painkiller addiction? Let’s do a worse ad than that
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) April 4, 2017
Coke execs tonight after watching kendall’s pepsi ad pic.twitter.com/3u7Ti01bpi
— JamesMichael Nichols (@JMN) April 4, 2017
Well, I’m definitely not drinking Pepsi anymore.
lawyer whispers in my ear
OK I’m being told I haven’t had Pepsi in 23 years.
— Steve McPherson (@steventurous) April 4, 2017
theory: that Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad is actually a Coke ad
— Chris Gayomali (@chrisgayomali) April 4, 2017
i am shocked because i expected a collaborative effort between kendall jenner and the pepsi corporation to be very good
— ???? alex (@soalexgoes) April 4, 2017
The Kendall Jenner Pepsi fiasco is a perfect example of what happens when there’s no black people in the room when decisions are being made.
— Travon Free (@Travon) April 4, 2017
Jacob Weindling is Paste’s business and media editor, as well as a staff writer for politics. Follow him on Twitter at “@Jakeweindling”:https://twitter.com/Jakeweindling.