The Funniest Democratic National Convention Tweets, Night Four
Screen cap from YouTube Comedy Lists Democratic National Convention
We made it! Thank God. Here’s the last of these things for another four years. Or—damn. There’s an entire another party, isn’t there? I guess keep an eye out for more of these next week, or the week after, whenever the Republican National Convention is. Hell. Does England have to put up with like 12 of these things, or however many parties they actually have?
Biden’s speech tonight was great. It was infinitely more powerful and moving than anything Donald Trump has ever said in his entire life. I won’t even try to make one of the typical hackneyed attempts at Morning Zoo-style humor you’d typically see in these torturous tweet gallery intros. Dude knocked it out of the park at the exact right moment—like David Justice in Game 6 of the 1995 World Series. It’s impossible to see how anybody who isn’t already hopelessly devoted to Trump or the GOP could have watched that speech and thought “nah, the other dude is better.” Unthinkable. But so much has been unthinkable in this country for so long that no outcome of this election would shock me.
So you know the drill: the Democrats have a convention. People tweet jokes about it. We grab the funniest or best or, uh, most viral-seeming ones and toss ‘em up on the old home page. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship we’ve got going on here. Thanks for keeping it running.
Read the tweets, follow the tweeters, and good luck with whatever sort of business you’re dealing with in your daily life these days.
For a second I thought, “Hm, why is Julia Louis-Dreyfus speaking at the DNC?” and then I remembered no human is better at conveying frustration and rage boiling over into delirium.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) August 21, 2020
With all due respect how many weeks long is the DNC
— Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) August 21, 2020
imagining joe biden saying grace at dinner and starting it off with “hey man”
— just kidding (@InternetHippo) August 21, 2020
The easiest way the the Democratic Party could win back any goodwill at this point would be to open tonight’s DNC with, “You know what, we’re gonna call it here, have a good night everyone.” and throw on a re-run of Cheers.
— $200 a Day, Plus Expenses (@CaseyMalone) August 20, 2020
When is The Lincoln Project’s DNC speech
— Ira Madison III (@ira) August 21, 2020
Letting my wife pick something out from the App Store. It’s called being a provider and Joe Biden will make it illegal
— Not Gay, Just Spiritual (@mattytalks) August 21, 2020
DNC: Coronavirus, the economy, climate change, racism
RNC: cancel culture, QAnon, windmills killing birds, shower heads that aren’t powerful enough
— Zach Heltzel (@zachheltzel) August 21, 2020
AOC got 90 seconds & Bloomberg got what felt like a million minutes. The Democrats still got it! #DNC
— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) August 21, 2020
BIDEN FOREIGN POLICY:
Any and all foreign countries get 3 warnings:
1st: “Cut the crap, kid”2nd: “Listen up, ace: I need you to cool your jets.”
– Final Warning: “Get in loser, we’re going back to Iraq”— Bridezilla of El Dorado (@SamGrittner) August 20, 2020
Yeah, this Biden speech is good and all, but what’s his stance on gassing Americans for a cheap photo op?
— Eric Stangel (@EricStangel) August 21, 2020
I’m so relieved Biden got thru his entire speech without attacking a Gold Star Family.
— Josh Comers (@joshcomers) August 21, 2020
now trump has to find a different seamus heaney quote for his speech
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) August 21, 2020
Don Jr can tell the heartwarming story of when his dad decked him for not wearing a suit to a baseball game.
— Schooley (@Rschooley) August 21, 2020
I had my prom in the same building Biden just spoke in. Both of us were nobodies’s first choice but ultimately better than the alternative (not getting our dicks grinded on to get low)
— Sudi Green (@Sudi_Green) August 21, 2020
okay now I see why they question Biden’s mental health, it must sound bonkers when someone speaks in complete sentences about things other than himself
— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 21, 2020
Probably the thing I identify with Trump most on is talking up how boring and lame the Democratic Convention will be, then live-tweeting it
— Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) August 21, 2020
Well, at least the entire Trump campaign hasn’t been premised on the idea that Joe Biden can’t give a speech.
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) August 21, 2020
Quick pivot from “this geezer can’t string two sentences together” to “TRUST NOT HIS HONEYED WORDS, SWEET AS THEY MAY SEEM!” https://t.co/sKfKlbH2Pv
— Benjy Sarlin (@BenjySarlin) August 21, 2020
Uh oh someone in Trump’s campaign staff is gonna have to learn how to write in the next 3 days.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) August 21, 2020
Maybe 30 days to talking about having the Secret Service arrest Biden before the election. https://t.co/3cE8J9vsJs
— man it’s a hot zone, (@Mobute) August 21, 2020
CUT TO: Donald trump googling “how do you show empathy” as he works on a rebuttal speech
— Brett Ryland (@brettryland) August 21, 2020
Imagine five years ago getting a preview of the 2020 Democratic Convention acceptance speech celebration, in which a black-masked Joe Biden silently watches explosions in a parking lot.
— Frank Lesser (@sadmonsters) August 21, 2020