All images below captured from Trump’s slideshow.
Hey, I know the United States has a lot on its plate right now—the health-care crisis, the constant threat of imminent war, a history-long struggle with racism and inequality, and
>this guy. But there is still more to contemplate, America.
On July 9, President Donald Trump tweeted a slideshow with "highlights" of the G20 Summit in Hamburg, Germany. The video is set to his tremendously bad, ear-destroying anthem, "Make America Great Again." Nothing says patriotism like vacant suits pressing the flesh, set to clanging music by a shrill chorus. Trump really gets America.
You can watch the full slideshow here, if you dare.
Here are the weirdest, most inexplicable parts of Donald Trump’s G20 Slide Show and Orchestra Spectacular.
Every exciting bit of the G20 Summit is covered in this slide show, including personal greetings in the form of hand gestures commonly seen at weddings and town hall meetings. Riveting candid shots of Trump walking, pointing, smiling and standing are here, including Trump joshing around with his best buds, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Emmanuel Macron.
The pictures in this slide show include some glimmers of Trump’s phony joviality, but there are mostly lonely glances and longing looks. We do get a captivating birds-eye view of Trump’s inner monologue, though: "I wonder what they’re saying about me ….. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME…. What does G20 even mean? ……Finding Dory is a great, great film."
Here’s Trump and his good friend, Russian President Vladimir Putin. Judging by their expressions and body language, neither is on the same channel. Trump clearly seems in awe of Putin, but Putin just looks bored. It must be hard for a communist leader to wait patiently for the spy chip that was inserted into Trump’s neck to become functional.
When it was time for the grand photo op for the BFFs at G20, you’d think Trump would have been seen right up front, dead center and personal. But where is he? He’s waaaayyyy over there, second from left. He failed in his main objective—to always be the center of attention. If anything, this picture was something they should have edited out, not included. Sad!
Imagine the Trump videographer at this summit: "Now turn to your left and smile. Pretend you understand what they’re talking about or that you know who they are. Leave the rest to me." But the videographer failed. Trump looks like he wants in on some juicy joke these guys are sharing, desperate to be included and loved. We all know what really happened.
On the surface, this seems like the most normal picture from the slide show, except that Trump and Melania are entirely out of focus. Maybe they couldn’t get a decent happy photo of the two together and chose this out of necessity. Or maybe the focus knob just broke off.
In case you’re wondering why Trump’s team would ever choose this horribly boring photo: That’s Trump in the center hovering over the crowd on a giant political hockey globotron or whatever you call it. My guess is the only one craning his neck to see who got on the jumbotron first was Trump. And now that priceless moment is immortalized in a slide show, which is immortalized in a tweet. That’s a presidential legacy.
The composer of "Make America Great Again," Gary Moore, is a former minister of music (yes, that’s a real thing) of First Baptist Dallas), your local neighborhood controversial megachurch. And with that, the song’s roots undeniably link so-called Christian values with American patriotism. And really, isn’t THAT what it means to separate church from state? The campaign-slogan-turned-song has already come up against opposition, with First Baptist Dallas’ now-leader calling naysayers "evangelical gnats." You stay classy, First Baptist.
This may be the worst, most offending part of this video—it’s a bona fide earworm. The repeated phrases are grossly addictive and simple to remember. Here’s a sample: "Make America Great Again / Make America Great Again / Lift the torch of freedom / all across the land / Step into the future, joining hand in hand…" Its vague message is not as direct as this or this, but it’s a helluva catchy tune with a more subtle, bow-to-your-leader message. I’m ‘bout to grab my torch and link arms with some fascists right now. Thanks, President Trump!
OK, I can’t confirm this chorus is entirely Caucasian, but above is a small cross section of the group for reference. Either way, there’s no reason for anyone to get this screechy about America, or anything, really. Marching drums and regal trumpets with harsh, bracing vocals doesn’t say patriotism. It says Wal-Mart. Reminder: "Make America Great Again" is not to be confused with this YouTube post from Jan. 20, although it’s easy to get confused.