Right now in Washington the Senate Judiciary Committee is holding the confirmation hearing for Donald Trump’s latest Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh. He’s the judge who’s argued in the past that presidents should be exempt from criminal investigation and prosecution, which means, if he makes the Supreme Court, he’ll probably be the judge that lets Trump get off scot-free from whatever the Mueller investigation digs up on him. Also, 93% of the documents from Kavanaugh’s time as an adviser to the Bush White House haven’t been released to the committee, which is unheard of—when Elena Kagan was being confirmed, 99% of documents from her time serving in Clinton’s White House were released. And the Kavanaugh documents that have been released for review weren’t made available until last night—giving almost no time for Democrats on the Committee to review them before today’s hearing.
So, we’ve got a potential Supreme Court judge who doesn’t think presidents should be held accountable for their crimes, who apparently has documents in his past that could potentially wreck his nomination, and, oh yeah, who will also almost definitely vote to restrict (or eliminate) abortion access while consistently siding with corporations over the public. Sounds like a real winner.
That combination of Kavanaugh’s terrible beliefs and the GOP’s shameless strong-arm tactics have made the Kavanaugh hearing the most contentious Supreme Court confirmation since Clarence Thomas’s back in 1991. If you weren’t around back then, uh, it didn’t go well for the Democrats, just as Kavanaugh’s hearings probably won’t go well for them (or the nation at large) today.
If you aren’t a fully invested supporter of the graying, dwindling Republican Party, everything about this nominee and this hearing should be infuriating. It’s yet another political moment where the brute force of a self-interested minority will trump the will of the majority, and not in a way that brings about progress, but instead has the exact opposite goal, dragging us further back into the past. It ain’t good.
This is just one more in a seemingly unending sequence of miserable political developments that are rendered inevitable by the lockstep unity and lack of ethics of the GOP. There’s little chance Kavanaugh’s nomination will fail, unless two Senate Republicans are willing to go against their party and vote with the Democrats, and that seems very unlikely. The rest of us can protest and write earnest essays decrying Kavanaugh and what his appointment to the highest court will mean, but will it accomplish anything? Or will it be exactly as effective as making resigned, depressing jokes about the entire thing on Twitter? All of reactions are legitimate, and if protests do somehow work and gum up the works of the Kavanaugh train, that’d be amazing. Don’t fault those who can’t muster up anything but gallows humor today, though. They’re doing valuable work by letting us all feel a second or two of commiseration over the unceasing flow of depressing politics in America today.
So yeah, long-winded intro aside, here are some jokes I saw on the computer today that made me chuckle, or at the very least made me understand why others might actually chuckle at them.