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15. Doubledown: I'm not completely sure what I think this means euphemistically, but whatever sex thing you're picturing for Doubledown is a lot cooler than a guy with tattoo sleeves throwing cards at people.
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14. Plastique: So powerful one mere touch will make you explode.
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13. Reverse Flash: The Reverse Flash is more versatile than The Flash, but will simply never be able to catch up.
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12. The Flash: The Flash as a sex toy would be a Fleshlight so good you'll have to call yourself the fastest man alive. Overuse of The Flash might cause you to create an alternate timeline you ultimately have to destroy, causing tears in the very fabric of reality.
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11. Dr. Mid-Nite: A cure for what ails you, provided you turn off the lights first.
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10. Mr. Terrific: So terrific you might actually GAIN the ability to walk afterwards.
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9. Cupid:This is a freebie.
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8. Zoom: Zoom's the exciting new toy you introduce trying to spice things up. At some point you realize it's just an expensive means to be disappointed in all the same old ways. It's also a stupid name.
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7. Speedy: Speedy is a better name than Zoom because Speedy is actually fun and empowering.
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6. Top: I know what you're thinking. "There's a super villain named Top?" But see, it's named Top, like the toy. "Like a sex toy?" Point made. The burden of proof is on DC Comics to prove modern people regularly talk about spinning tops. Not counting that one month we all got into Inception.