We all know Trump is the greatest President of all time, but what you may not know is that he is the greatest President of all time, ever, in history. Just how great is Trump? Better than every President put together, as The Daily Show explained after Trump’s nomination acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention.
He kept his promises. Trump said he was going to build the wall, and to this very day says he will build it, eventually. He unites us. The most marginalized, underrepresented Americans are now seeing themselves represented in the highest office, “whether they be white culture enthusiasts, overzealous commandos, or unorthodox babysitters.” He’s simply better than every other President. Sure Lincoln had to manage a civil war the likes of which the nation had never seen, but did he have to fire his entire self-appointed cabinet? Nope.
By February 2020 Trump had managed to bless the country with record-setting stock market highs and unemployment lows. Nevermind what happened after that, because it’s not important to him, and therefore not to anyone else. Trump is going to keep pretending that everything is fine, because for him it actually is.
Here’s the video, which is narrated by acting great Jeffrey Wright, and which I assure you some people will see as a completely non satirical take on the President.
Nicolas Perez is an editorial intern at Paste and opinion co-editor for New University. He’s rambling on Twitter @Nic_Perez_.