At its best, Twitter provides an escape from the stresses of everyday life, but we’re currently rocking and rolling through a slowly developing dystopia. When the world gets tough, Twitter gets joking, and the work week has been grinding overtime with shared outrages. This week’s funniest Tweets took a dark turn, requiring at least one Google search about the making of The Twilight Zone movie and a quiet shudder for how little some citizens know about concentration camps. But hey, there’s also at least one really cute dog.
We’ve embedded these Tweets to make it easy for you to follow your new favorite comedic voices, so do everyone a favor and smash that follow button. Here are the funniest Tweets of the week.
social experiment: if you come across this tweet comment your zodiac sign and whether or not you murdered my father on a brisk April morning in 2003. DO NOT read the replies before you do. i’m tryna see something
— Grace Thomas is looking for work (@GraceGThomas) June 21, 2019
Why is it called a manic episode and not “bonus content”
— Jake Flores (@feraljokes) June 18, 2019
[carefully puts turds in pocket] pic.twitter.com/MsZHrDnOmf
— Urple Incogzero (@NotUrplePingo) June 18, 2019
My dogs back legs were paralyzed last month, but I don’t think he knows yet so don’t tell him pic.twitter.com/TW7Xbz47xo
— Nick CVO (@NickClevland) June 18, 2019
Something happened to me 12 days ago and the tattoo appointment is already on the books
— Kasey Kuppenbender (@KCKuppenbender) June 18, 2019
Two years ago: it won’t be that bad, a lot of the stuff he said was just campaign rhetoric
Now: oh please, they’re not CONCENTRATION camps
— Hayes Davenport (@hayesdavenport) June 18, 2019
People are seriously spending the day going, “It’s only a concentration camp if it comes from the concentration camp region of France.”
— “Marxist” (don’t laugh!) (@babadookspinoza) June 18, 2019
I miss James Gandolfini. Not least because his last name means “small wizard”.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 19, 2019
Wowww just had to unfollow OJ. He’s funny on twitter but give him a google and you will NOT like him anymore
— Caleb Synan (@calebsynan) June 17, 2019
If I lived in a bungalow, every time I bought toilet paper, I’d say, “I need tp for my bungalow.”
— Adam Newman (@Adam_Newman) June 18, 2019
Very annoyed by handsome dudes who do not post enough photos of themselves. Run your hands through your hair and look at your phone like a DJ with a secret or a sad breakdancer whose neck hurts and post that shit. DO YOUR PART.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) June 20, 2019
Yt girls going out of their way to tell me how much they love Lizzo is the new “I’d have voted for Obama a third time.”
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) June 18, 2019
Max Landis is what happens when you have the ultimate helicopter parent.
— Allen Strickland Williams (@TotallyAllen) June 18, 2019
i drew a comic about a mousetrap pic.twitter.com/aF2aNnaegh
— Mikey Heller (@yoyorobot) June 20, 2019
My long term goals include being able to go to a dinner party, glance at the piano and say “do you mind?” and absolutely shred.
— greta titelman (@Gertie_Bird) June 20, 2019
it owns that Lisa Simpson has a better understanding of the function that police serve in a capitalist society then the majority of this country’s population lol pic.twitter.com/ghnkLxPM7g
— Sam (@halaljew) June 20, 2019
so many beautiful women I went to high school with are now married to sentient camouflage hats
— jourdain searles (@jourdayen) June 20, 2019
Wow everyone is into BDSM these days pic.twitter.com/1xHVNvSp99
— Logan Guntzelman (@adirtyguntz) June 20, 2019
During this pride month I want to celebrate gay siblings who came out after their older gay sibling and no one cared. Shout out to my little sister who is still butt hurt that when she came out everyone in my family was just like “okay” and truly didn’t care. Gays love attention.
— Dewayne Perkins (@DewaynePerkins) June 20, 2019
When you wanna look inclusive but hate homeless people #AntiHomelessArchitecture seen in the Castro outside a sushi bar pic.twitter.com/2JRGEO1r5p
— Coalition on Homelessness (@TheCoalitionSF) June 19, 2019
Every man in comedy has whatever the opposite of imposter syndrome is.
— Natasha Leggero (@natashaleggero) June 21, 2019
John-Michael Bond is Paste’s assistant comedy editor. He’s on Twitter @BondJohnBond and can be found telling jokes around Los Angeles most nights.