Let’s say that you want to get from Canada to Mexico in the straightest possible line and you don’t want to go through any major population centers. I’m not going to question why you want to do this. Let’s just assume you don’t want to see an Applebee’s every 15 miles.
There’s only one solution to your problem: US-83, which runs from Westhope, North Dakota, to Brownsville, Texas, with 1,900 miles of scenery as the delicious creamy filling. We’re on the Road to Nowhere, and it’s a long drive. But can we make a Best Damn Beer Road Trip out of it? There’s only one way to find out: stab it and steer.
North Dakota
Did I say we weren’t going to visit any population centers? One hour south of the Canadian border, and we’re in Minot, the fourth largest city in North Dakota. What the heck are 41,000 people doing in the middle of North Dakota? Some are working for the Air Force base down the road, but I like to think most stay for the beer. Souris River Brewing is Minot’s premier local brewpub, and they take “local” seriously. From the ingredients in their food and beers to the reclaimed lumber used to build the joint, Souris River Brewing keeps it close to home. These folks offer over a dozen beers, from a relatively tame 4.5% ABV hefeweizen to their 10.0% Trestle Triple IPA.
South Dakota
Photo via Gandy Dancer/Facebook
Lonely Highway 83 is not the place to be if you’re looking for South Dakota microbrew, but all is not lost. We’re on a road trip, after all, so we can zig over to the Black Hills or zag over to the bigger towns dotting I-29 and find some local beer.
I vote for the latter, so we’ll head east over to Sioux Falls, a pretty little prairie town that also happens to be the biggest city in South Dakota. Almost 30% of South Dakota residents live in the Sioux Falls area, and where there are people there’s bound to be a brewpub.
Gandy Dancer Brew Works really brings the craft to craft brewing, offering a revolving selection of beers cooked up in collaboration with local home brewers. How cool is that? Gandy Dancer is located in Monk’s House of Ale Repute, so don’t be confused by the name on the door.
And listen: Before we jump back over to the Road to Nowhere, we have to stop at Casa Del Rey. Their crispy chile rellenos are the business.
Nebraska
Photo via BeerI’veBeenDrinking/Tumblr
You can see the Dismal River along Route 83. I don’t really have an interesting fact here, other than that Nebraska is home to the Dismal River. Miserable Creek and the Depressing Causeway aren’t taken though, so write your local congressperson soon.
We don’t have to detour too far from the Road to Nowhere to get to Kearney, population 31,000 and home of Thunderhead Brewery. Locals swear by the MacTawisch Scottish Ale, but with only five beers on the menu, why not try them all? And check out that label art. Sweet!
Kansas
We’ve been through Kansas before, on our Route 66 edition of Best Damn Beer Road Trips, but that doesn’t mean we can’t stop again. Hays isn’t too far off of highway 83, and that just happens to be the home of Defiance Brewing Company. These guys have only been in business since 2010 and they don’t have a brewpub, but any one of their three year-rounders can be found at local venues. Don’t want to hunt down a can, bottle, or glassful but you like that awesome name? Check out the swag the company has for sale. One of those tees would make a nice road trip keepsake.
Oklahoma
Photo via Pete’s/Facebook
The Road to Nowhere cuts quickly through the Oklahoma panhandle, and much like the rest of our road trip on this aptly named highway, we’re going to have to take a side trip in order to find some local brew.
But what a cool side strip it is. Down in the southeastern corner of the state is tiny Krebs, Oklahoma, population 2,000 and home to Pete’s Place, a family owned Italian joint that makes its own beer. The recipe allegedly was taught to the original Pete back in the early 20th century by the local Choctaw Indians, and that’s the origin of both Pete’s Choc Beer and its name.
The joint has remained in the family since 1925, having been passed down the line from Pete to his son and then his grandson, Joe. Local food, local beer, and a cool story: This is what road tripping is all about!
Texas
Curse the luck! We pull into Brownsville, Texas, our final destination, a few weeks too late for the Brownsville Beer Fest. October 4 marked the second edition of the border town’s celebration of all things beer, featuring a Beatles tribute band, the longest bar in Texas, and even a 5k beer run for those not afraid to spill. Meet me there in 2015?