There are people who can open a beer bottle with a lighter, or a folded napkin, or, if they’re really talented, with their teeth. I’m not one of those people. I need a tool fashioned specifically for opening bottles otherwise, I can’t get the job done. Luckily, there’s no shortage of bottle openers out there. We sorted through the two million options on Amazon and found our favorites, from geek-friendly options that honor Game of Thrones to one that let’s the President open your beer for you.
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The Star Wars Millennium Falcon. It's as close as you'll ever get to having a beer with Han Solo.
Rebel Alliance/Amazon
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You're super sporty, and you need everyone around you to know it, even when you drink beer. This carabiner/bottle opener from Nite Ize sends the right message.
Nite Ize/Amazon
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Are you an Arrogant Bastard? Are you worthy? This bottle opener from Stone Brewing Co. is definitely worthy.
Stone Brewing Co/Amazon
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This one's called "Knob and Knockers." Because everyone wants to open a beer with their penis. Everyone.
Geckord/Amazon
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What's geekier than a Star Wars bottle opener? A Game of Thrones bottle opener. Or maybe it's a tie.
The King's Collection/Amazon
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Reduce, reuse, recycle, people. Even in the world of bottle openers. This one's made from a recycled bike chain.
Resource Revival/Amazon
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You know how when you're out walking your dog and you have a beer, but you can't open it because you have no opener? This dog collar solves that problem.
Kurgo/Amazon
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Smart slogan. And having a bottle opener built into your phone case makes the phone useful even if there's no service.
Toddy Gear/Amazon
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It's a coaster and a bottle opener!
Fuhlspeed/Amazon
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I have no proof, but using this sphere-shaped bottle opener from Areaware has to be more ergonomically correct, right? Drink beer and fight carpal tunnel!
Areaware/Amazon
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Since he's probably going to start a war with North Korea and defund the EPA, he might as well open your beer for you.
President Souvenirs/Amazon