Just as some cars are sexier than others (I’m looking at you Ford Country Squire station wagon), some bottles of booze and beers scream “SEX” more than others. Valentine’s Day is the “the only national holiday dedicated to getting it on,” according to The Ladies Man, so we’ve culled together a handful of the sexiest bottles of booze and beers of all time. Cue Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.”
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I'm not sure what people thought of this cognac before Tim Meadows created "The Ladies Man" on SNL, but ever since that first sketch, it has always been associated with sexy time. Specifically, activities that include "da butt."
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I've never actually had Disaronno, which is an Amaretto, but it's obvious that this bottle is for couples who want to get it on. Recall, if you will, that first commercial, with the attractive lady licking the ice cube, and the deep-voiced announcer telling us how the liqueur is so "warm" and "sensual."
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Rule number one, never run out of Colt 45. And that comes straight from the mouth of Lando Calrissian, so you know it's true. The gist of those old Billy Dee Williams commercials was simple. Open a can of Colt 45, and sexy women will show up to your door. I'm not sure if that's a scientific fact, but…
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SX Cha Cha Cha
This is a Reposado Tequila infused with lemon and honey, which isn't necessarily sexy in its own right, but the bottle is curvy and the slogan goes like this: "Your drink. Sexier."
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German-based G Spirits takes their booze and pours it over the breasts of Playboy models before bottling it. I swear, you can't make this stuff up. I know that G Spirits is going for the sexy vibe, but this one just comes off as creepy.
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Absolut Rock Edition
Absolut Vodka released a limited edition of its booze in a leather/stud wrap that feels oh so Fifty Shades. I mean, does this bottle come with a whip? Cause it should.
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Fifty Shades of Grey Wine
I mean, of course there's a Fifty Shades of Grey wine. Because some of us are too timid to ask our partner to tie them up. So, we bring home this bottle on Valentine's Day and hope the implication is understood.