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Double Dessert: Damn, what an upgrade. You mean for just two cents more I can get sherbet and applesauce? Color me impressed.
Creating Premium Specialties with Apple Sauce, 1968
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Expired Total Coupon: This isn't a recipe. We just liked the way it looked. Don't try to print it out and redeem it, because it won't work.
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Grape Juice Dressing: So many times I've had salad dressing and thought "this needs something." Now I know what that something is: grape juice, duh!
Your New Hotpoint Refrigerator, date unknown
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Pink 'n Pretty Parfait: Mmm, hard pellets of leftover cooked white rice layered with strawberries. Don't forget to add the food coloring so it looks moderately palatable!
Miss Fluffy's Rice Cook Book, date unknown
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Sausage Cake: This cake probably isn't bad, but it begs the question: why not just make a regular cake and save the sausage for Saturday breakfast? Ma Ingalls said it's okay.
Unusual Old World and American Recipes, date unknown
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Milk with Juice: Wait, should I curdle my milk with fruit juice or tomato juice? Oh god, I can't decide!
Three Meals a Day, date unknown
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Whipped Topping: A recipe that directs you to crush tablets does not exactly scream "all natural."
Calorie-Saving Recipes with Sucaryl, 1958
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Sucaryl: Just in case you were wondering what Sucaryl is … or rather, was. This non-caloric sweetener joined the graveyard of retired products years ago, probably because it gave lab rats extra ears and green fur. But check out that foxy product design by renowned designer Raymond Loewy! You can almost imagine Don Draper pitching that in a tense meeting with the Sucaryl people.
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Frankfurter Salad Bowl: Tired of those boring old deli salad choices? Tuna, chicken, ham … jazz things up with a salad made of hot dogs! It's the one frankfurter recipe even your five-year-old is guaranteed to reject.
Troop 98 Salads Breads Desserts, 1974
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Thrifty Giblet Meal: This is really just a recipe for a biscuit-topped pot pie with a giblet gravy and vegetable filling. Oh, wait, you're still not enticed? Fine. Let's see you come up with a recipe that's a Senior Winner in the 1953 Pillsbury National Baking and Recipe Contest.
Grand National Recipes from Pillsbury's Recipe Contest, 1954