Eight Felt Arguments For The 2012 MuppetOscars

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Eddie Murphy  has only just stepped down from his role as host of the 2012 Oscars—a casualty of producer Brent Ratner’s homophobic f-bomb—but the Internet has already found his replacement. Or should we say, replacements.

Of course, a new producer will need to be found before Jim Henson’s crew can even be considered. But that producer should be hired with The Muppets in mind. There’s already a movement on Twitter and Facebook. In case this idea wasn’t as immediately as awesome to you as it is to us, here are eight reasons why this is an absolute no-brainer.

8. Foreign Film Expert, The Swedish Chef
He’ll decry the need for subtitles and, in a flashback to 2001, chase the nominee in a swan outfit with his cleaver, yelling “Børk! Børk! Björk!”

7. Political Commentary From Sam the Eagle
The election will have a full head of steam come February, and we all know how one-sided Hollywood can be. Who better to counter-balance Hollywood’s liberal tendencies (and reminisce about J. Edgar) than our favorite self-appointed censor.

6. Fozzy’s Bombs
As uncomfortable as David Letterman and Ricky Gervais combined. Uma…Oprah…Wocka Wocka.

5. Musical Moments with Rawlf The Dog
Zooey Deschanel’s song from Winnie the Pooh gets even more precious as a duet. Trent Reznor (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) gets freaky with Dr. Teeth and Animal. Plus OK Go (The Greatest Movie Ever Sold) has already got some Muppet chemistry.

4. Statler and Waldorf providing the zingers
Imagine the grouchy, old men taking potshots at Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life and Woodie Allen’s Midnight In Paris. It’s almost too easy.

3. Miss Piggy with the stars
Kermit might get a little green as Miss Piggy rubs pork shoulders with George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio, all of whom have a good shot at a Best Actor nod this year. Plus, the red-carpet coverage would get a lot more interesting, as she knocked the usual suspects out of the spotlight.

2. Kermit as emcee
As likable as Tom Hanks, as funny as Billy Crystal and dashing in a tux, Kermit is the perfect antidote to last year’s James Franco debacle. No one will even think he’s stoned!

1. Beaker

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