Recoil in Disgust from the Ugliness of the Sonic the Hedgehog Trailer

It’s safe to say that there have been some, ah … misgivings … online about the Sonic the Hedgehog feature film, ever since initial press photos of Sonic’s design first hit the web. As people were asking then: “Why does Sonic look like a tiny, vaguely sexualized furry blue man?” Why did we go this route, showing off all the individual hairs on his little hedgehog body, rather than simply making Sonic look as he’s always looked in the videogame series?

It’s probably safe to say that those early concerns will pale in comparison, though, to the concerns people will have after seeing the film’s first trailer, embedded below. The footage we see below gives us a better idea of what Paramount is actually trying to craft here: A Transformers or Fast and Furious movie, starring Sonic the Hedgehog. The tone is like “PG-13 action movie” all the way, even in the scenes that feature Jim Carrey’s (sadly weak) attempt at Dr. Robotnik. Although we do at least get a final shot of Carrey in a more Eggman-esque state, which I’ve embedded here. Note the big mushrooms in the background, which perhaps suggest this story takes a more fantastical twist at some point.

All in all, though … yikes. Just the choice of music alone is concerning. The Sonic series is known for all its classic tracks, and you choose Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” of all things, as the song to best sum up the spirit of Sonic the Hedgehog? Could that choice possibly seem any more disconnected from reality? And my god, just look at his face—is he supposed to look like an earthly hedgehog? Or are the characters in the film just as disturbed by his appearance as we are? I have so many questions.

Get ready to be repulsed by the trailer, which you can view below. Sonic the Hedgehog is scheduled for a Nov. 8, 2019 release.