Perhaps, in some parallel universe, there’s a version of We Have a Pope that simultaneously works as an existential drama, a light sitcom and an absurdist romp. The one in our universe limply stumbles through all three possibilities.
Potential cinematic gold lurks around every corner of Italian director Nanni Moretti’s Vatican-based story of a pope who is elected but doesn’t wish to serve. Problem is, it never stops lurking. This is the kind of film that you don’t want to give up on. You wait in vain for it to take full advantage of just one of its premises. But it’s as if Moretti and his co-writers were so pleased with what they set up that they didn’t bother to knock any of it down.
The film opens after the pope’s death, as the cardinals solemnly march into the Sistine Chapel to elect his successor. Meanwhile, the media eagerly waits outside, blathering inanely and hoping for an impossible scoop. Droves of Catholics flood Saint Peter’s Square to see their new leader make his first appearance from the balcony.
As the cardinals start the ballot process, a multilingual flood of voice-overs overtakes the soundtrack—each man prays that the papal responsibilities don’t fall to him. After some unseen events, the press’s top picks all fall off the ballot, and a fellow named Melville emerges the winner. He reluctantly accepts the responsibility, but when the time comes to address the masses, he suffers a panic attack, screams and runs off.
This leaves the Vatican press secretary (Jerzy Stuhr) with a nightmare on his hands. Because the pope was never officially announced, the cardinals must remain secluded—no sightseeing or trips into the country during their visit. They must sit around and pass the time, which is funny because they’re all goofy old men. The press secretary claims that the pope is praying for guidance and will be ready to appear any day now.
The great French actor Michel Piccoli is eminently likable as Melville, who ambles around, lackadaisically shrugging off any queries about when he might want to start his papacy. Stuhr plays off him well, but ultimately the film never quite settles on whether the pope is in a deep internal struggle or just comically aloof. There’s no sense of mean-spiritedness about the characters; the film is empathetic. It simply has nothing to say.
Moretti shows a clinical fascination with the rituals and settings of the pope’s selection. In the opening sequence, the cardinals and the Swiss Guard approach each other from exacting angles, and the camera films them likewise. However, for all its vague social commentary, We Have a Pope contains precious little visual wit. Moretti is a good director, and the film is thoroughly competent, but in this case he offers nothing outside of slow push-ins and routine reverse shots.
Moretti appears on screen, as well. He plays a psychiatrist who is brought in to help the pope but can’t ask him any questions deemed inappropriate for the infallible leader. He also must hold his therapy session while rows of cardinals stand at attention in the room with him and his patient. But the biggest surprise comes when he learns that he can’t leave the Vatican until the issue is resolved.
An entire movie could have been made about this psychiatrist character’s predicament, and yet it might have been wiser to leave him out of this one. He only has one conversation with the pope and spends a large portion of his screen time planning a nonsensical volleyball tournament between the cardinals. (Which is funny because, you know, goofy old men.)
The film continues the pattern of introducing characters who then have nothing to do. Moretti’s psychiatrist has a wife who’s a psychiatrist, as well. A Swiss Guard officer has to cover when the pope goes AWOL. We Have a Pope could have told the story of any one of these characters and been a good film. Instead, it fails to tell any of them.
Director: Nanni Moretti
Writers: Nanni Moretti, Francesco Piccolo, Federica Pontremoli
Starring: Michel Piccoli, Nanni Moretti, Jerzy Stuhr, Renato Scarpa, Franco Graziosi, Margherita Buy
Release Date: Apr. 6, 2012