Imagine if Tim Roth was hosting SNL and pitched a digital short parody in which FIFA makes a masturbatory movie about itself. Now double it. You just imagined United Passions, a $31 million movie made with $27 million of FIFA’s own money.
Based on the trailer above, United Passions is the type of movie in which people say what they are doing as they are doing it, as in saying “Let’s form FIFA!” before all joining hands to celebrate forming FIFA. It’s the type of movie in which a villainous Englishman says “Your so-called federation doesn’t even exist yet” with the type of sneer that guarantees the federation is about to start existing. Most impressively, it’s the sort of movie in which Sepp Blatter, played by Tim Roth, is the hero because he “knows about money.”
Unfortunately, there’s no official release date for United Passions yet, and IMDB doesn’t make clear who you have to bribe to find out.