“Hygge,” the Danish word of an extreme coziness, has infiltrated the English language. It’s the latest obsession of wellness bloggers, lifestyle coaches and pretty much every stay-at-home mom during the winter months. You know what? Fuck hygge! Rather than dawdling around with comfort and coziness, let’s embrace words with some practicality, words like Backpfeifengesicht, the German word for a face that’s begging to be slapped or Sahat, the Tunisian word for getting high off shoe polish. Here’s a guide to some words we should be using instead of hygge.
Torschlusspanik (German): Literally, it means “the fear of gate closing.” This is the fear of missing out on something, often leading to a decision you impetuously make and subsequently regret.
Vitutus (Finnish): The Finnish word for “I can’t even deal with this shit.” E.g., how you feel about politics.
Gråtrunka (Swedish): Crying and masturbating at the same time.
Shemomedjamo (Georgian): The feeling of extreme fullness, but, because your meal’s so delicious, you can’t stop devouring it. If Thanksgiving encapsulated one word, it’d be shemomedjamo.
Trúnó (Icelandic): The act of getting into a very private, confessional conversation with someone, usually when drunk. E.g., every karaoke bar at 2:00 a.m. when some asshole sings “Tears in Heaven.”
Gruglede (Norwegian): The feeling of being so excited for something that you both look forward to it while simultaneously dreading it.
Gyakugire (Japanese): Getting pissed at somebody because they got pissed at you for something you did.
Vukojebina (Bosnian): “Wolf fuckness” or, put more elegantly, when you’re completely lost in the middle of nowhere, e.g., Arkansas.
Fernweh (German): The opposite of homesickness. It’s the yearning to go to a faraway place.
Hiraeth (Welsh): A homesickness for a home that never was. Is … is somebody cutting onions?
Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan): A necessary plotline in every rom-com, this word means the scenario when two people are looking at each other, each wishing the other would initiate an action both desire but are unwilling to begin themselves.
Heimscheisser (German): Somebody who can only shit at home.
Kalsarikännit (Finnish): Getting drunk at home, alone, in your underwear, with no intention of doing anything else.
Betyárkörte (Hungarian): “The outlaw’s pear.” Or, in layman terms, a tiny piece of shit that is stuck on the anal hair—i.e. Dingleberry.
Tom is a travel writer, part-time hitchhiker, and he’s currently trying to imitate Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? but with more sunscreen and jorts.