A Short History of Abbi and Ilana’s Recreational Drug Use on Broad City

From Broad City’s earliest beginnings as a web series, recreational drug use has been hilariously woven into the show’s storylines. Alcohol and weed are almost supporting characters on the show, fueling Abbi (Abbi Jacobson) and Ilana’s (Ilana Glazer) silly, over-the-top adventures as struggling twentysomethings in New York City.

From hallucinogenic trips to Whole Foods to indulging in moonshine with daytime TV hosts, the yaaasss queens have had no shortage of substance-fueled escapades. In honor of the Season Four premiere, Paste decided it was, uh, high time for a rundown. “A four and three and two and wuh-one…”

Ilana’s Natural Stash Pocket (Season One, Episode 2)

You know you have a special friendship if your bestie has zero qualms about pulling drugs out of one of her body cavities right in front of you. Watching Ilana take a dime bag from “nature’s pocket” is a little too much for Abbi to handle, though, and finally provides her with enough motivation to seek out her own weed hookup. This in turn inspires Ilana to take yet another baby step into adult life and do her own taxes.

Moral: You never know where inspiration is going to come from.

Ilana Smokes Out a Solution (Season One, Episode 9)

The notion that the best way to find something you’ve lost is by retracing your steps holds true, for the most part. For Illana, this means getting as high as possible to remember where she misplaced her TV remote. Like a stoned sleuth, each hit of her joint transports her back in time to piece together the clues. It’s an unconventional approach to problem solving, but hey, a lost remote is incredibly frustrating, so whatever works.

Moral: There’s more than one way to solve a mystery.

Toking and Dining, Broad City Style (Season One, Episode 10)

Some days you get to enjoy a fine meal in a classy restaurant and some days you pee out a condom. Some days both might happen. Life is full of bizarre ups and downs, and if the show has taught us anything, it’s that Abbi and Ilana are resilient—and they’ll find any excuse to get high. Instead of letting Abbi continue to get down on herself about the new personal level of disgust she’s reached, Ilana invites her out to smoke her worries away before returning to finish the meal.

Moral: “So what, you’re a nasty bitch. Who cares?”

Breakfast with Weed (Season Two, Webisode)

A cereal war, Epcot of cereal, think tank of cereal: Whatever you want to call it, Abbi and Ilana have their own special ingredient to start the day with a complete and balanced breakfast. That secret ingredient, of course, is weed. In this Season Two webisode, the ladies meet up through Skype to indulge in a sugar-frosted wake-and-bake and discuss who might visit a cereal themepark. It perfectly captures the friendship between Abbi and Ilana, while offering a new approach to the consumption of Cocoa Krispies.

Moral: Cap’n Crunch will probably taste better than ever before, just don’t expect to knock out that morning to-do list.

Abbi and Ilana Conduct a Dorm Raid (Season Two, Episode 1)

Summer in New York City can feel like one giant, sweaty, concrete hot box. After several failed attempts to find relief from the cruel summer heat, Abbi and Ilana hatch a plan to swipe the AC from Ilana’s old dorm by posing as RAs and conducting a raid for contraband. It’s one of the rare occurrences where the ladies pull off a successful plan, even if Abbi does mistakenly make out with a minor in the process.

Moral: Beware the dangers or ripping underaged bongs.

Abbi’s Hallucinogenic Trip Through Whole Foods (Season Two, Episode 3)

If Broad City has one drug-related moment that stands out among the rest, it’s without a doubt Abbi’s Whole Foods romp with an imaginary Bingo Bronson doll. Overly medicated from having her wisdom teeth removed and… all dolled up, Abbi goes on a credit card-charging rampage, snatching up every artisanal product she can get her hands on. And because it was Ilana’s “firecracker smoothie” concoction that sent her on the mind trip, it’s up to Ilana to track her down.

Moral: Shopping at Whole Foods is even more financially perilous when you’re under the influence.

Abbi’s Introduction to Moonshine (Season Two, Episode 9)

Generally, the women of Broad City stick together in an episode’s storyline, but this episode found each heading off on her own adventure. While Ilana was busy falling in love with her doppelgänger, Abbi was realizing her own fantasy by hanging out with Kelly Ripa. The two share white wine and inside jokes, until the wine runs out and the white lightning takes over. At this point, the show expertly turns Ripa’s wholesome sweetheart image upside-down, sending Abbi on a party path she’s not sure she’s ready for.

Moral: Be careful who you party with.

Bathroom Bowls and Other Activities (Season Three, Episode 1)

In a city like New York where space is a precious commodity, the bathroom often serves as a second living room/bedroom/kitchen. Season Three’s cold open gave us a fantastic montage showing a year in the life of Abbi and Ilana through the perspective of their apartment bathroom activity. The bathroom isn’t just a place to use the bathroom for the Broad City gals, but a domain for sex, sing-alongs, getting high, sleeping and getting high again.

Moral: Everybody does weird shit in the bathroom.

All Hail the Weed Kween (Season Three, Episode 4)

One doesn’t become a weed kween like Ilana without demonstrating that she’ll go the extra mile for her stash. In an effort to recoup the funds that she and her roommate Jaime (Arturo Castro) spent on an exterminator, Ilana decides to throw a party, complete with cannabis bar. Only her go-to “weed box” is empty so she taps into her reserve supply. A vibrator’s battery compartment, hole in the drywall and even Ilana’s hair all produce hidden nugs. The reign continues!

Moral: Saving for a rainy day is always a good idea.

Don’t Cry Over Spilt Urine (Season Three, Episode 8)

The “Burning Bridges” episode saw Abbi and Ilana go through one of their roughest days yet. Starting with Ilana spilling the urine Abbi had given her for a drug test, it only went downhill from there with Lincoln (Hannibal Buress) breaking up with Ilana and Abbi messing up her budding romance with Trey (Paul W. Downs). At the end of the day, though, they’re still just two bffs smoking weed in the tub and trying to navigate life’s problems.

Moral: Spilling a cup of urine is bad. Spilling a cup of somebody else’s urine is slightly worse.

Season Four of Broad City premieres tonight at 10:30 p.m. on Comedy Central.