Editor’s Note: Welcome to our new column, Reality AF. Every Monday, Terry Terrones will check in and talk about the state of reality TV, plus provide a Top 5 list of what’s coming up this week that you should not miss.
We’re almost at the halfway mark for the 15th season of Married at First Sight, so now seems like a good time to rank the five couples who are all doomed for failure.
You might recall that a few weeks ago I predicted that 1 out of the 5 couples would make their marriage last. After seven episodes and two matchmaking specials, it’s clear I was grossly overconfident, as it doesn’t appear any of these couples are built for the long haul.
After talking with my consigliere (my wife Andrea), who helped predict how these couples would fare before the season began, we’ve evaluated each couple on their chances of success based on what we’ve seen so far. Here are the results.
Why they’re ranked #1: Somebody had to get the top spot and despite some doggy drama last week, Alexis and Justin still seem like the most likely couple to make it through this eight week experiment (mostly) unscathed. That said, there are plenty of red flags. Alexis’s condescending humor towards her husband has to reach a tipping point, and her love for her dog is a bit over the top. Justin also seems to have a penchant for being a pushover. This relationship is starting to feel unbalanced.
What Andrea says: Their physical connection and compatibility might give them the juice to overcome the dog incident.
Why they’re ranked #2: These two have actually seemed to grow and have true affection for each other. However, they’re both poor communicators. Miguel, who acts like he’s all that and a bag of Funyons, says he HAS to be honest, and he is to a fault. Some things should just be thought, not said. Meanwhile, Lindy feels judged when she hears anything negative, no matter how it’s presented. If they can work through these major differences, they’d actually have a shot.
What Andrea says: Lindy’s tolerance is constantly tested by overconfident Miguel.
Why they’re ranked #3: Because Krysten is smarter than Mitch, who is a total slob (Did you see the stove in his apartment?!?). Krysten is literally manifesting this marriage. He wasn’t sure he was attracted to her, then she wears a bikini and begins to change his mind. He wants to be admired, she treats him like he invented paddle boarding. Krysten never judges, is always complimentary, and makes it clear she’s attracted to her husband. Krysten knows that sometimes you have to give a man time to realize he’s got everything he’s ever wanted because most men are stupid. Mitch is a moron with no game yet they’re still #3 because it gets much worse from here.
What Andrea says: Krysten is so understanding that this dumbass might eventually recognize he has a catch.
Why they’re ranked #4: I still think Nate is a player but at this point Stacia is the one messing up this relationship. Her reaction to Nate’s apartment was disrespectful and condescending. When you freak out about empty oatmeal containers like Gordon Ramsay during an episode of “Kitchen Nightmares” you might have some problems. And why does Stacia have two full kitchens in her house? Who needs that? A diva, which is exactly what Stacia is. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I’m Team Nate.
What Andrea says:Nate seems more capable of compromise, Stacia is too entrenched and probably can’t change.
Why they’re ranked #5: Can we just send these two home now? Morgan doesn’t seem ready for marriage, she just wants someone to fit neatly into her pre-existing routine. She’s also got a death grip on the “if you break my trust you never get it back” mantra. I think she has it tattooed on her body somewhere. Meanwhile Bihn, who’s certainly likable, has a lifestyle that’s too extreme. Bihn, who can come across as a bit judgy, made a mistake and is trying to right it but it seems all Morgan sees is an excuse to be done.
What Andrea says: Morgan wants to play games, create drama, deflect, and blame. And Binh is in a skill-deficit situation.
Married at First Sight airs Mondays on Lifetime
1. Below Deck Mediterranean (Bravo, August 22)
Why you should watch it: The interior team has a disagreement about its priorities, Captain Sandy and the deck crew attempt a tricky night docking, and Tasha tells David that she’s back with her ex-boyfriend. Nothing quite like getting the news that the girl you were having an affair with went back to her boyfriend.
2. Password (NBC, August 23)
Why you should watch it: Let’s be honest, this isn’t that hard of a game as the clue words are pretty simple. That said, it’s certainly fun to play along while you’re sitting on your couch, especially when someone doesn’t get an easy clue word.
3. Married at First Sight (Lifetime, August 24)
Why you should watch it: The preview for this week’s episode makes it look like every couple is having a complete meltdown, and I’m here for it.
4. Welcome to Wrexham (FX, Series Premiere August 24)
Why you should watch it: Actors Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney take over the world’s third oldest professional soccer club located in Wrexham, a working class town in Wales. It’s like a real life Ted Lasso!
5. The End is Nye (Peacock, August 25)
Why you should watch it: Educator and host Bill Nye demystifies the globe’s most epic disasters imaginable with the science of survival, mitigation and prevention. Why hasn’t this name been used for one of his shows before? Seems like a no brainer.
Terry Terrones is a Television Critics Association and Critics Choice Association member, licensed drone pilot, and aspiring hand model.
When he’s not applying for Survivor, you can find him hiking in the mountains of Colorado. You can follow him on Twitter @terryterrones.
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