Editor’s Note: Welcome to our new column, Reality AF. Every Monday, Terry Terrones will check in and talk about the state of reality TV, plus provide a Top 5 list of what’s coming up this week that you should not miss.
Step right up and place your bets! Now is the time to see if you can predict which Married at First Sight San Diego couple will live happily ever after, and which terrible human being will become a viral meme we can all laugh at later.
During last week’s 2-hour Matchmaking Special, which was more of a Season 15 premiere than a “special,” viewers watched the highly complex process that relationship experts Pastor Cal and Lilliputian Dr. Pepper used to match 10 new singles. This included asking hard hitting questions such as “Why do you think you’re ready for marriage?” and “What do you look for in a spouse?” while Dr. Pepper does her favorite move: rooting through underwear drawers.
To evaluate Cal and Pepper’s selections, I brought in my own relationship expert: my wife Andrea. We’ve been married for 18 years so I trust her judgment. That said, she’s a special education teacher and not a TV writer so I think I have an edge when placing bets on which couples will make it.
Here’s a look at each couple, and a public record of our bets so I can have bragging rights several months from now. I included each person’s age, occupation, their chyrons, and the experts’ thoughts on their matches:
(28, Logistics Specialist, Passionate Powerhouse)
(33, Digital Marketing Specialist, Towering Teddy Bear)
The experts said: We believe Alexis’ fun, positive energy will be just what Justin needs to make him feel supported and valued as they build their life together.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs up. But her energy might be too high for his chill attitude.
Terry’s bet: Thumbs down but I’m basing this solely on her chyron. When you get labeled a “passionate powerhouse” that seems like a polite way of saying someone is a jerk. She also gives me Michaela Clarke from MAFS Houston vibes. Not good.
(32, Sales Rep, Daring & Devoted)
and Mitch (41, Environmental Policy Advocate, Rebel with a Cause)
The experts said: We believe their similar life philosophies, their love of the outdoors, and their light-hearted outgoing personalities will create the perfect California couple.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs up. A good match because they both do yoga.
Terry’s bet: That’s your reasoning?!? I’m giving them a thumbs down. She’s too outgoing for Mr. Environment, who is bald. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
(27, Registered Nurse, Strong & Independent)
and Binh (29, Engineer, The Mama’s Boy)
The experts said: We think Morgan and Binh will both value each other’s practical sensibilities. These two are both ready to fight for love.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs up. I think they’ll have good chemistry. Financially and physically they compliment each other.
Terry’s bet: Thumbs down for three reasons, all on Binh. Did you not see his chyron? He’s a mama’s boy. What woman wants to compete with a dude’s mom? Also, Binh is jacked. That kind of conditioning takes a lot of time and effort and focus on yourself, no one else. And finally, Binh was called “frugal” multiple times, which means he’s cheap. Three strikes, Binh’s out. Sorry Morgan.
(37, Accountant and Real Estate Investor, BO$$ Lady)
(34, Day Trader, Hustler with a Heart)
The experts said: These two are both ambitious and motivated to go after what they want. And their shared vision for a future family will surely set them on the path to happiness.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs down. He seems shallow, she seems driven. Not a power couple, a powerless couple.
Terry’s bet: Thumbs down. In fact, this pair gets my vote for Worst Match of the Season. He’s practically got “PLAYER” tattooed on his forehead and I think Stacia will read him from the jump because Nate loves turtlenecks and says all the right things with no sincerity. I’d be surprised if she doesn’t bounce before week eight.
(29, Physical Therapist, The Over-Thinker)
(35, Medical Writer, The Starry-Eyed Scribe)
The experts said: We believe that Miguel’s masculine yet sensitive nature will be the perfect balance for Lindy’s vivacious personality. And that their mutual passion for adventure and their more traditional ideas of romance make these two a dynamic duo that will go the distance.
Andrea’s bet: Thumbs down. She’s too bubbly and outgoing for a cerebral, nerdy guy.
Terry’s bet: Thumbs up. I want to say no because I thought Miguel and Morgan would have been a better match because she likes nerds, but I guess I have to pick at least one couple to make it. That and I like Miguel a lot, he’s giving me Gil vibes.
5 Reality Shows to Watch This Week
1. Below Deck Sailing Yacht (Bravo, June 27)
Why you should watch it: The first part of a two-part reunion episode airs tonight. If you like watching Gary “The Kissing Bandit” King squirm, here’s your chance as he’ll be confronted by all four (4!) of the women he kissed this charter season. That and these reunion episodes are your only Below Deck fix until Med starts on July 11.
2. Weakest Link (NBC, June 27)
Why you should watch it: Who’s brain bank is being charged overdraft fees? Who thinks Ted Lasso is a series of web talks for cowboys? That would be you if you don’t watch this trivia comedy. I will never stop singing the praises of this Jane Lynch-hosted show.
3. Chopped: Desperately Seeking Sous Chef (Food Network, June 28)
Why you should watch it: Four champions return to the Chopped Kitchen to compete for a sous chef job for judges Maneet Chauhan, Scott Conant, and Chris Santos in the finale. In the baskets tonight is a Naples speciality (pizza?) and a stinky fruit. Yum! The winner will consider job offers from all three judges and make a big decision.
4. More Power (History, Season Premiere June 29)
Why you should watch it: Get ready for some manly grunting as Tim Allen, Richard Karn, and April Wilkerson celebrate the coolest, most powerful, and iconic tools.
5. Me or the Menu (Food Network, Season Premiere June 30)
Why you should watch it: Check out this description for a divorce in this show from the producers of 90 Day Fiance: “four restaurateurs navigate the challenges of opening their first restaurant with their significant others.” Ha! Suckers!
Terry Terrones is a Television Critics Association and Critics Choice Association member, licensed drone pilot and aspiring hand model.
When he’s not applying for Survivor, you can find him hiking in the mountains of Colorado. You can follow him on Twitter @terryterrones.
For all the latest TV news, reviews, lists and features, follow @Paste_TV.