Sons of Anarchy: “Poor Little Lambs”
(Episode 7.04)

Well, I’m back as a SAMCRO believer. They lost me there for a bit. The last few episodes of Sons of Anarchy have been… well… boring. The truth is, after losing the tension of Clay vs. Jax and Gemma vs. Tara at the end of last season, I wasn’t sure how Season Seven would roll out. We know Jax is hell-bent on revenge, but that plotline can only take us so far, and I’ve been bored with the first three episodes of Season Seven.
Last night’s “Poor Little Lambs,” seduced me back in. There I was cozy in my PJs, tucked into a blanket, ready to be asleep by the third commercial break, and BAM—Courtney Love shows up as a preschool teacher (I have now seen it all). We see Gemma dealing with irate carpool moms, and catch a glimpse of Juice’s bare ass all before the opening credits. Alright SoA, let me put down the chamomile tea, because I’m in.
The episode opens with Jax paying a visit to Tully (Marilyn Manson) in jail. They’re making a deal about “dog food” (as in, not dog food), and we learn that Tully really misses his dog. Aw, even white supremacists can be pet lovers too.
The star power doesn’t end there. Next, Courtney Love makes her series debut as Abel’s preschool teacher, Ms. Harrison. She meets Gemma at the drop off, and I must say, she looks good. Demure floral dresses suit her. After Gemma berates one of the horn-happy carpool mommas, Ms. Harrison says, “Damn, grandma’s kind of crazy.” And when C-Love calls you crazy, you know you have some problems.
Anyway, back to the Sons. They’re paid a visit by Tyler, who says August Marks needs their help tracking down a pastor and/or his wife because August needs their signature to close a business deal fast. It turns out this pastor is the same “Pantyhose Preacher” the boys accidentally killed and buried in the season opener. Small world indeed. The boys dig up the preacher, grab his cell phone to find clues, and what do they find? Videos of Venus Van Dam!
YES! At this point, I am officially hooked on the episode. The boys meet up with Venus (much to Tig’s delight) and she tells them that the pastor was a “freaky little holy man living close to the flame.” She is poetry. Oh, and she calls Tig “Alexander.” She gives the guys the pastor’s address, and she makes Jax smile for the first time this season. Basically, she rules all.
The boys head to the Pantyhose Preacher’s lakeside cabin. They find the pastor’s wife and stepson, but not before those rascals shoot Tig with buckshot, and make a shoddy escape into the lake. Jax takes off his shoes (is THAT how they stay so clean? It’s like they’re never scuffed) and jumps in to save everyone. Aw, that’s the Jackie Boy I’ve missed. As everyone dries off (can someone offer Jax a towel? Seriously—he just saved your ass) we learn that, surprise, August Marks is involved in some shady deals. Basically, he wants the pastor’s wife to sign away her church’s property so he can claim the benefits of low-income housing that will never be built. Jax advises them to take the deal because August Marks is one scary mofo, and leaves them with a promise they won’t get hurt. I’m not so sure Marks will play along with that.