Sweet Not Sappy: Our Favorite Paper Valentines

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We’ve cut through the cheesy supermarket-bought sentiments to bring you our top valentine picks that are sure to make your loved one swoon.

For the Anti-Valentine

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Cupid rhymes with stupid. For those not in love with the holiday, these anti-valentine sentiment from Betty Turbo fit the bill. This image was created from original ink drawings and digitally colored. The card is blank on the inside and comes with a coordinating envelope. So, take it! Take another little piece of this heart, baby. Nom, nom, nom.

For the Weirdo

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Put the lock down on your quirky guy or gal by declaring your love for their unabashed freak factor. This gorgeous card from Elum is letterpress printed with soy-based inks on soft 100% repurposed cotton rag paper and comes packaged, with an envelope, in a crystal-clear cello sleeve.

For the In-Betweeners

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Are you stuck in an ambiguous state, somewhere between friendship and being in a relationship? We know, we know. It’s complicated. So why not express your affection with a little t-rex love After all, you’d miss him or her if he or she were eaten by a dinosaur, right? (Sure you would.)

For the Awkward Dater

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An awkward dating card—the perfect valentine for when you’re kind of together, but it’s not a big deal. Great for that person you’re having a thing with, but not having a thing thing with. Offset printed onto heavyweight matte stock, using environmentally friendly soy inks, this card from Emily McDowell comes with a matching kraft envelope, guaranteed to make your companion’s heart melt.

For the Literary Bae

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Tongue tied at the thought of what to say to your beloved? Let Shakespeare take care of it for you. Literary gods and goddesses alike will love receiving this mushy yet profound luxury foiled letterpress valentine from online couture stationer Luxe Papery.

For the Graphic Designer

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Perfect for the graphic designer in your life, this adorable, tech-friendly valentine from a. favorite design is both smart and simple. Blank inside and packaged with a red envelope, the card is letterpress printed on bright white cover stock.

For the Foodie

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Don’t go bacon their hearts! Everybody wants to be on the receiving end of these foodie friendly valentines from Night Owl Paper Goods, printed on 100% reclaimed & recycled cotton. Heat things up with the bacon sizzler) or keep things crispy with an adorable, bouquet-clad box of fries.

For the Adventurer

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Die cut in studio, this letterpress valentine from Blackbird Letterpress is printed on 100% cotton paper, accompanied by a kraft envelope. This card is a perfect choice for travelers and outdoorsmen. Or use it as a grand gesture to let a long lost love know you’re still out there, eager to rekindle an old spark.

For the Dreamer

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You’ve torn your dress. You’re face is a mess. How could you know? This romantic yet funny card from Dirty Lola is the perfect way to show affection towards your best friend, significant other or the music fan in your life. Besides, who wouldn’t want David Bowie on a valentine?

For the Bold at Heart

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Not your lover? Not your friend? Maybe something that you’ll never comprehend? Wow your plus one this Valentine’s Day with a bold declaration. After all, no one can resist the androgynous super powers of Prince, the rare man who can rock a ruffled blouse and strut in 6-inch stilettos.

For the Lighthearted

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This hilarious letterpress greeting card from Elum is a foolproof way to let your boo know your love is truly permanent. This lighthearted valentine is printed with soy-based inks on soft 100% repurposed cotton rag paper and comes with a corresponding envelope in a crystal-clear cello sleeve.

Emily Davidson Nemoy is a freelance writer based in Nashville, Tenn. When she’s not at her computer or on her yoga mat, she can be found at live music venues happily spending her excess cash on concert tickets.

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