I haven’t been to law school but I’m pretty sure directly contradicting one of your client’s statements on national TV isn’t usually something a lawyer wants to do. That didn’t stop Rudy Giuliani from doing exactly that tonight on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show, of all places. The one-time America’s Mayor joined Donald Trump’s legal team a couple of weeks ago, and during an appearance on Hannity tonight he mentioned that Trump reimbursed lawyer Michael Cohen for the $130000 paid to porn star Stormy Daniels days before the 2016 election in order to keep her quiet about her affair with Trump. (I’d link to the actual interview, but it doesn’t seem to be one of the clips that have been posted at Fox’s YouTube page. Here’s CBS’s report on the interview, instead.) Trump has maintained that he knew nothing about any payments to Daniels, and that he never authorized or funded anything of the sort. Maybe Giuliani got his facts confused (which is what he’s now claiming) or maybe Donald Trump, a longtime professional liar, lied about the money. Either way Giuliani’s astonishingly bone-headed move plays directly into the widespread belief that this president and his associates are just the biggest gaggle of incompetent dunderheads ever seen in American public life. Giuliani bungled this so bad that he momentarily made self-professed non-journalist Sean Hannity, of all people, almost come off like Woodward and Bernstein for a second. (Don’t worry, Hannity fans: your boy kept his partisan bona fides in sight as he basically tried to walk Giuliani through correcting himself immediately after spilling those beans.)
As grim as it is to think that these are the people running this country, and legally representing the people running this country, and trying (and failing) to host interviews with that legal representation that are so unchallenging that the questions can only be compared to teeball and not even softball, there is one slight positive to be found in this embarrassing display: It is officially fun as hell to dunk on disingenuous nitwits like Giuliani and Hannity. Twitter has been good tonight, about as good as Twitter gets. Get your eyes ready for a concentrated blast of PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE joke tweets about two numbskulls trying to protect one of history’s truest dipshits.
After 9/11 the press bent over backwards to make sure Rudy Giuliani would be the next president and the only reason he wasn’t is because he just happens to be the world’s biggest dumbass
GIULIANI: He only fired Comey cause his attempts to murder him were unsuccessful. HANNITY: I didn’t know that either. GIULIANI: 100%. Poison, no good, piano missed him, blow darts all duds. HANNITY: So it was a merciful firing.
TRUMP: go on hannity and defend me GIULIANI: u got it sir. i’ll give them the ol’ rudy razzamatazz TRUMP: no dont- GIULIANI: [whispering in his face] the ol’ rudy razzamatazz
Never would I have guessed that the President’s mortal enemies would be Rudy Giuliani, Sean Hannity, Fox News, his own personal physicians, and himself.
Hannity, sensing the slip-up, tried to end the interview. “Sean, I’ve got more,” Giuliani said. “Well mayor—” “LET ME SPEAK SEAN” “The floor is yours.” “Okay. Cruz is the Zodiac.” “WE’RE REALLY OUT OF TIME MAYOR”
I like that Giuliani has become the drunk girl at the bar that walks up to the biggest guy in the room and says her dork boyfriend is gonna kick his ass.
Giuliani: Boy it’s hot in here, I’m gonna take my shirt off Hannity: Rudy, you don’t have to do that… Giuliani removes shirt, revealing a t-shirt printed with the words “Trump Sold Heath Ledger The Drugs That Killed Him”
— popular comedy account “the pixelated boat” (@pixelatedboat) May 3, 2018
HANNITY: Thanks for joining me, Mr. Giulia— GIULIANI: It was in international waters HANNITY: …What was in intern— GIULIANI: So, good luck prosecuting