The 28 Best Comedy Writers of the Year Who Will Die in Global Warming-Related Catastrophes
All photos supplied by the artists, except where noted Comedy Lists Global Warming
If there are two things we know, it’s comedy, and that the world will inevitably be destroyed within our lifetimes by the unchecked ravages of global warming. Here are our favorite comedy writers, who will all perish as Earth takes her revenge upon us.—Ed.
APARNA NANCHERLA (@aparnapkin)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Nancherla: Pride is a sin! But a few highlights from 2018 were: playing Grace the HR manager on Season One of Corporate on Comedy Central, Episode Six of Netflix’s The Standups Season Two, and playing Sona in Paul Feig’s A Simple Favor, which was my first film. Ok I guess I have sinned.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Nancherla: Corporate Season Two comes out Jan 15th on Comedy Central at 10:30pm after Drunk History, I am part of the system, can you tell?!!?!!!!
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Nancherla: More stand-up I hope and more writings and some actings and all will be revealed in time, love, Dumbledore.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Nanchlera: As of recent, I was on an episode of Bob’s Burgers as Susmita, science fair ace. This fulfilled several goals of mine and my parents.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Nanchlera: A take so hot from a thinkpiece it melts all the artisanal ice cream in Brooklyn and I am swept away in a flood of cardamom, matcha and whiskey smoke chips.
JEFF LOVENESS (@JeffLoveness)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Loveness: I started writing at Rick And Morty and wrote a graphic novel about Judas Iscariot embarking on a dark odyssey through Hell… I also ate completely alone in a Red Robin. I am still shaken by that experience. Do not eat alone in Red Robin. You will feel like a serial killer.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Loveness: Writing on the new season of Rick and Morty. Working on a new sci-fi graphic novel.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Loveness: I wrote on Miracle Workers, which premieres Feb. 12 on TBS. Rick And Morty premieres… hopefully before the next World War? Not sure. I sold a TV show with a good friend of mine, and I have a movie that will probably consume me soul-first before it is actually made…
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Loveness: I made a short film with Mitra Jouhari and Bridger Winegar and four strangers I hired from Craigslist. It is about broken men and stock photography.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Loveness: I wouldn’t mind going out Deep Impact Tea Leoni style. I’d just peacefully close my eyes and let myself be taken by a skyscraper-sized tidal wave sweeping over the Eastern Seaboard while I reconnect with my estranged father.
DAN HERNANDEZ (@CubanMissileDH) & BENJI SAMIT (@BenjiSamit)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Hernandez and Samit: We were proud to work on two TV shows this year, One Day at a Time (Season 3) and The Tick (Season 2). Keep an eye out for the cross-over episode!
Paste: What are you working on now?
Hernandez and Samit: After we finish answering these questions, we are totally free. Are you hiring? You don’t have to hire both of us.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Hernandez and Samit: We have some fun TV stuff planned for this year, but we are most excited about the movie we wrote, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu, coming to theaters on May 10, 2019! Keep an eye out for the crossover, One Squirtle at a Time!
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Hernandez and Samit: Pokémon: Detective Pikachu
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll each die in?
Hernandez and Samit: After bravely leading a rag-tag group of survivors through the oceans of Colorado, we will be violently deposed by the citizens of New Denji for embezzlement and collusion with mutants.
MITRA JOUHARI (@tweetrajouhari)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Jouhari: I shot a pilot with my comedy group Three Busy Debras and wrote and/or appeared on a bunch of shows that I love! I also began going to therapy which changed my life. Overall I feel healthier, happier, and more confident than I did a year ago.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Jouhari: I am moving to LA to write for a show and currently also trying to get a cast as an extra in Cats the Movie the Musical with my best friend Patti Harrison.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Jouhari: I’m moving to LA and that’s exciting!! I just hope I get to keep doing more of what I’ve been doing, which is performing with my friends and writing for shows that I love and would watch anyway. I also really cannot stress enough how badly Patti and I want to be in Cats.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Jouhari: Bravely I’m gonna say… no! But watch Miracle Workers premiering on TBS on Feb. 12 and the new season of High Maintenance on HBO on Jan. 20—I wrote for both of those shows and am really proud of that!
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Jouhari: I absolutely know that I will trip and fall and die stupidly before things even have a chance to get really bad.
JAKE WEISMAN (@weismanjake) & MATT INGEBRETSON (@mattingebretson)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Weisman: Corporate, Corporate, Corporate. Season 1 premiered and we filmed, produced, and edited season 2. That was my entire year. The show is my entire life and personality now. And also learning how to open myself up to love again after going through a breakup in late 2017.
Ingebretson: Here’s a link to stream all 10 episodes of season one.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Weisman: Literally the only thing I did all year was work on the show.
Ingebretson: Lately I’ve been making my bed every morning, and I’m starting to get pretty good at it. Also, Season Two of Corporate, which comes out Jan. 15 on Comedy Central.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Weisman: Hopefully we get to make a third season of Corporate, and hopefully I can enjoy life more, exercise more, eat less bread, move to an apartment I like better than the one I’m in now, donate more money to more people, and not make any mistakes literally ever.
Ingebretson: I’ve set a goal for myself to continue making my bed. Life is hard and you never know what’s around the corner, but I believe with a little perseverance anything is possible.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Weisman: Please watch season 2 of Corporate.
Ingebretson: Unfortunately no. Making my bed takes two hands, and I don’t own a tripod, so I have been unable to film myself making my bed.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Weisman: Jim Jones comes back from the dead and convinces me to swallow the punch and die.
Ingebretson: Fire.
JESS DWECK (@thedweck)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Dweck: Hands down the highlight of 2018 was getting to be part of Michelle Wolf’s entourage at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It was such a surreal yet gratifying experience to watch her eviscerate those vile, venal ghouls to their faces in real time.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Dweck: I don’t know if it counts as current but watch Big Mouth on Netflix? It’s really funny.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Dweck: My #1 goal in 2019 is to transition from Twitter person to irl person. I would love to no longer just be a floating head on the internet. I’m likable and fun in person, too, as you can tell from my saying “I’m likable and fun!”
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Don’t bother following me on Instagram. My account is just a mix of cute nephew pics, sad street garbage, and failed thirst traps where I attempt to look hot in billowy linen overalls.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll each die in?
Dweck: As much as I’d like to think I would be wiped out in some epic biblical storm that will be written about for centuries—or however long mankind has left on this dumb orb—in all likelihood, I will just be randomly decapitated after a strong gust of wind knocks over the sign above a dildo store. My name will trend on Twitter for an hour for before all the trending topics return to #ResignOrangePresident and some athlete who just got traded to the Cleveland Go-Getters or whatever.
BESS KALB (@bessbell)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Kalb: I “opened” for Hillary Clinton at a fundraiser for Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense and then-candidate/now Congresswoman Lucy McBath [Paste’s comedy editor’s representative—Ed.]. Two weeks before I got an email from the organizers saying “You’ll be introducing Hillary now.” I was like “Hillary who?” and they didn’t respond. In the end, “Hillary” told me she wants to carry me around in her purse and I called her “Madam President.” A great night. She never followed up about the purse thing, so I guess it was just ANOTHER CLINTON LIE.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Kalb: This is my sixth year writing for Jimmy Kimmel Live. Everything I have is because of Jimmy, who is objectively the world’s greatest boss, chef, and unwilling adoptive father figure.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Kalb: My novel Nobody Will Tell You This But Me is coming out hopefully next year. Knopf is the publisher. It’s my late grandmother’s autobiography, told in her voice from beyond the grave. It’s a big departure from late night writing, but as my grandmother always said: “Bessie, what are you doing? You’re going to humiliate yourself. Brush your hair.”
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Kalb: Never.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Kalb: The Great Bloomingdales Winter Coat Liquidation Sale Stampede
ANDREW LAW (@thatandrewlaw on IG)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Law: Probably my episode of The Good Place, “Don’t Let The Good Life Pass You By.” It was amazing to see the group effort put forward by our writing staff, talented craftspeople, and incredible cast. It’s either that, or the fact that I got a massive discount on an Instant Pot.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Law: Work on season 4 of The Good Place begins in January, and I think everyone involved is very excited.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Law: I hope to use that Instant Pot I bought, which has been sitting unopened on my kitchen counter since September, even once.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Law: Absolutely not.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Law: Probably a freak accident on a fracking rig, where I carry big heavy metals and lug around fat chunky chains, like the strong hunky big boy that I am.
ADRIANA ROBLES (@AdrianaNRobles) & HANNAH LEVY (@handlevy)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Robles and Levy: We flew to New York to interview for a directing position at Saturday Night Live on a Tuesday. On Wednesday morning, we got a call from the show asking if we wanted to work there. Two days later, we were on set directing “A New Kyle.”
Paste: What are you working on now?
Robles and Levy: Outside of SNL, we’re finishing a short film with Paul Feig’s new production company, Powderkeg. We also recently wrapped up a gig as staff writers on Comedy Central’s upcoming sketch show, Alternatino.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Robles and Levy: This is difficult to answer on a public forum, because most of the things we want to do are illegal.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Robles and Levy: Both of our brothers are getting married this year, so we can send you their wedding videos soon. Please stay tuned.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Robles and Levy: We think that to survive the rising sea levels, we’ll both take up surfing lessons and die shredding a wave way too hard.
JENA FRIEDMAN (@jenafriedman)Photo courtesy of Getty Images
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Friedman: Stand-up on Conan: Treat Nazis Like You Treat Women
Paste: What are you working on now?
Friedman: Just wrapped writing on The Conners and shooting my show Soft Focus for Adult Swim
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Friedman: I’d like Soft Focus to become a series.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Friedman: I would prefer to die in a flood as an elderly person they just couldn’t get to in time, but it will probably be from a climate change related mosquito borne illness.
KURT BRAUNOHLER (@kurtbraunohler)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Braunohler: I’m most proud of selling a show to CBS. This year has been all about developing for me, and so it’s nice to finally have something to show for it. You can really go crazy when you’re just working on something for so long and no one ever sees it, so it’s nice to have it break my way this time.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Braunohler: I’m excited to be part of Showtime’s new show Black Monday about the stock market crash in the 80s and it’s fucking insane. So many good people are in it—Don Cheadle, Regina Hall, Andrew Rannells, Paul Scheer. It premieres Jan. 20.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Braunohler: I was the on-set writer for a Charlize Theron/Seth Rogen rom-com coming out in the summer tentatively titled Flarsky. But mostly I’m looking forward to spending time with my daughter and my wife because IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT SHOWBIZ WITH BRAUNOHLER!
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Braunohler: Here’s an old bit I just posted about people who climb Everest.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll each die in?
Braunohler: While relaxing in a hot tub in the mountains outside Los Angeles, I’ll drift off at the same time a flash fire starts in the hills around me causing me to simultaneously drown while burning to death.
DANNY JOLLES (@dannyjolles)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Jolles: My late night debut on Colbert. The end of the joke had a really important message that I was pumped that I got to do on network TV.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Jolles: I’m in the middle of filming the final season of Crazy Ex Girlfriend. I’m just trying to take in every moment I get to spend on this incredible show with this incredible cast.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Jolles: I’m working on a webseries that is going to show people what it’s really like to be a comic, and I think it’s going to be a cool insight into the process. I’ll also be touring a whole bunch more so keep an eye out for me in your city!!!
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Jolles: I just had my own song on Crazy Ex Girlfriend, which was a wild honor.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Jolles: You know, I think it’ll just be a general water related issue, but a zombie apocalypse would be way more fun. But if we’re being real, water issues of some sort will probably be the culprit.
BECKY ROBINSON (@BeckyRobinson4)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Robinson: Aside from a brief unexpected Skype session with 50 Cent, this year I’m most proud of getting Just For Laughs New Faces of Comedy for Characters. I feel lucky every time I get to load up a suitcase full of wigs, hit the road for shows and go attempt to make people laugh.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Robinson: I’m working on a show for the TV!!!!! I can’t say much about it other than I hope it makes it to air because it would be the first of its kind and long overdue for a woman to make a show like this. Fingys crossed!!
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Robinson: Standing back tuck.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Also there’s this: Becky Impersonates Walmart Kid Yodeler
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll each die in?
Robinson: I think I will probably slip on a paper straw and land in a fire.
NOAH GARDENSWARTZ (@noahgcomedy)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Gardenswartz: I was very proud to have written on season 2 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I also became a regular at the Comedy Cellar, which was a goal of mine since moving to New York in 2013.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Gardenswartz: I’m still writing on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which we will begin working on Season 3 in January 2019. Also working on my low-post moves in case the Knicks reach new levels of desperation.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Gardenswartz: I’m working on a project with my best friend, Clayton English, that I’ll hopefully be able to share more about in the coming months. Oh, and I’m getting married in 2019, which I probably should’ve mentioned first?
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Gardenswartz: Here’s a YouTube clip of one of my Conan appearances.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Gardenswartz: I think the most likely scenario is in a New York City heat wave. If next summer’s average temperature broaches the high 90s, there’s a strong chance I will spontaneously combust, courtesy of my Ashkenazi complexion.
NATALIE PALAMIDES (@nataliepalamides)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Palamides: From 2018, I’m most proud of my recent solo show NATE, which I built in Los Angeles at the Lyric Hyperion theatre over the first half of the year and then toured in Edinburgh Fringe and London at the Soho Theatre the second half of the year. Here’s a review.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Palamides: Next, I’m taking NATE up to San Francisco Sketchfest for one night only on Jan. 11.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Palamides: My friend, Courtney Pauroso, and I are aiming to turn our live bit about a dolphin trainer and his dolphin (Chuck and Sparkles) into a lil 15 minute short. I’m also developing five five minute films with a group of clowns, directed by Dr. Brown. Hopefully we can get our pretty faces on the telly this year.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Palamides: Here’s the live performance of my and Courtney’s dolphin bit at the satellite.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Palamides: I think I’ll become extinct when my natural habitat, Silverlake, gets swept up in an Oz style twister and takes me away to the Emerald City, where I will fulfill my destiny of being a seriously wicked witch who handles a broom like Enzo Ferrari.
BRIDGER WINEGAR (@bridger_w)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Winegar: I made a short film, A Night at the Horse Symphony, with the brilliant Langan Kingsley. It’s not quite done—no true masterwork ever is—but we hope to unleash it on the market soon. I also took a very good photo of my dog wearing a beautiful hat.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Winegar: I’m writing for Single Parents, currently airing on ABC. I also wrote for Season 2 of Comedy Central’s Corporate, which premieres Jan. 15th.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Winegar: A Night at the Horse Symphony currently has a 2019 release date. I don’t want to say too much, but the trades are already referring it to as a “tentpole release.” I’m also going to be doing a podcast with Exactly Right. Other than those two things, I just used a gift card I got for Christmas to buy a new suitcase at TJ Maxx.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Winegar: Here’s a music video from early 2018. that I made with Matt Ingebretson. It’s a combination of a department store cosmetics counter and raw violence.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Winegar: The reality is that I’m going to survive multiple catastrophic events and then drive my car off the road clapping along to music.
NAOMI EKPERIGIN (@blacktress)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Ekperigin: I’m proud of the fact that I started a podcast, which is very brave to do in LA—especially when you host it with your fiancé (Andy Beckerman). It’s called Couples Therapy and features comics and other creatives talking about their relationship live on stage and in studio. Guests have included Rachel Bloom and Dan Gregor, Sasheer Zamata and Nicole Byer, and Michelle Buteau.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Ekperigin: I’ll be on the Comedy Central show The New Negroes, hosted by Baron Vaughn and Open Mike Eagle, some time in the spring. And I’ll be going on tour in the spring/summer, with the new hour of stand-up I’ve been working on.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Ekperigin: If I’m in LA when it all does down, I’ll be dead from dehydration within the week. If I make it back east, I’ll be murdered by the makeshift family I’ve formed for eating too many of the rations. Or my glasses will break and it’ll be a wrap.
DANA SCHWARTZ (@danaschwartzzz)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Schwartz: In May of 2018, my memoir Choose Your Own Disaster came out. It’s a super-personal book (slash-extended personality quiz?) about all of the mistakes I made in my early twenties, most of whom were comedy writers who lived in Brooklyn.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Schwartz: I work as a correspondent at Entertainment Weekly, where my writing ranges from essays about Louis C.K.’s return to comedy to equally serious analysis about The Princess Switch starring Vanessa Hudgens.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Schwartz: I’ll be publishing a new book called The White Man’s Guide to White Male Writers of the Western Canon, illustrated by the brilliant cartoonist Jason Adam Katzenstein. I also hope to finally become one of those girls with the bone structure and confidence to pull off a hat.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Schwartz: No, but I have some great pictures of my cat Beetlejuice on Instagram.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll each die in?
Schwartz: I just moved to LA, so while it seems like my answer should be fire, I’m thinking that I’ll be driving in my Prius, looking for a parking spot, when the swelling tide of the ocean floods the Trader Joe’s parking lot and sweeps my car out to sea with me in it.
KAREN CHEE (@karencheee)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Chee: Growing up, I used to read The New York Times every Sunday—I would pore over each section, then meticulously cut out articles that I liked and carry them around in this little translucent green folder my parents got me because I didn’t want the papers getting wrinkled. Anyway, this year I was lucky enough to have a couple pieces published in the Times, one of which was about heists!
Paste: What are you working on now?
Chee: I write for most of the day and then do a lot of stand up and sketch comedy shows in the evenings. A fun little thing is that I’m heading to LA in January to write for the Golden Globes!
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Chee: My funny friend and personal style icon Broti Gupta and I are cooking up a couple projects together that we’re excited about! (If it sounds like I’m being intentionally secretive and mysterious, know that it’s really because our “work” so far has just been giggling over FaceTime.)
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Chee: This is an article I wrote because I genuinely don’t know what my friend Sammy does at work. I fully expected him to read it, laugh, and then tell me what he actually does at work, but instead he just texted me back saying: “I can’t believe I used my last free monthly New Yorker article on this.”
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Chee: I will get hit by a Tesla. It’ll be a very gentle hit from which I could very easily be saved, but I’ll refuse the care of the hot, capable doctors who are there to help me, just so I can spite Elon Musk.
LUKE KELLY-CLYNE (@lkellyclyne)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Kelly-Clyne: After four years of writing and directing at College Humor, and showrunning shows like I Want My Phone Back and Hot Date, I took over at Big Breakfast in 2018, as Head of Development and Executive Producer. I’ve also continued my Headgum network podcast, I’m Still Right, and kept up with my Vulture column, This Week In Web Videos.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Kelly-Clyne: Along with episodes of Pop’s Hot Date and truTV’s Adam Ruins Everything available on Netflix, Adam is also releasing new episodes on truTV right now.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Kelly-Clyne: There’s so much exciting stuff coming up that I can’t talk about yet, ya gotta wait! I’ll also say I’m psyched to be a new addition to the Propagate Content family.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Kelly-Clyne: Peep the IMDb trailer for UnMade here. Should be premiering in January!
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Kelly-Clyne: I’ll be flooded out of a home I’ve got plans to build on the southernmost tip of Manhattan. As I wade through the toxic waters of the Upper Bay, I’ll come across a floating body dumped by the mob in the late ‘70s. The body will be fully decomposed—a skeleton…but dressed in a Bensonhurst tuxedo (leisure suit, to the layman). Perfect. Condition. “Odd,” I’ll think to myself, as the final Time Magazine floats by, bestowing Person of the Year to…Anyone Who Hasn’t Burned Alive or Drowned Yet. “Odd that this outfit would hold up so nicely after all these years.” I notice a lump in the jacket pocket and reach inside to investigate. A revolver. Whoever killed this poor man clearly wanted it to look like a suicide, but…he wasn’t poor; he’s wearing a gorgeous gold chain. 24 karats, if it’s one. Also, he was shot in the back. There’s no way he could’ve done this himself. It would be physically impossible. “Sloppy work,” I think. Then, the gun—faulty from exposure to the elements—misfires and kills me.
NICK KOCHER (@zaynmalik) & BRIAN MCELHANEY (@zaynmalik)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Kocher and McElhaney: We were on the subway, and some guy started shouting racist stuff. After a group of people kicked him off the train and he was fully out of earshot, we said, at moderate volume, “Yeah, get him outta here.”
Paste: What are you working on now?
Kocher and McElhaney: If Beale Street Could Talk. We had nothing to do with it but it would really help our careers if people thought we did.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Kocher and McElhaney: We had this idea we got really excited about which was to build the first bridge from Manhattan to Brooklyn, but we just found out it’s already been done three times.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Kocher and McElhaney: Hot ones? Yes. There are two professionally made, fully unauthorized, porn parodies of our sketches “Boys Night In” and “Sexy Pool Party.” Their titles are “Lovin’ That Porno Vibe” and “The Wet Look.” You can see them at Brazzers.com, watch at your own risk.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Kocher and McElhaney: We’re pretty sure we’ll be killed by a flood. But in a real underhanded way, like it framing us for murder then appointing a corrupt judge to give us the chair.
JAMIE BREW (@jamieabrew)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Brew: Most things I did this year were with my company Botnik, a group of a few dozen people using computer language tools like this predictive text app to make comedy. My favorite moments were collaborations between near-total strangers from all over the place. Our Goosebumps choose-your-own-adventure Welcome To Sand Hands involved maybe ten writers, an editor, an animator, an illustrator, a developer and, in a way, R.L. Stine himself.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Brew: Botnik is working on an album called The Songularity for release in mid-2019.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Brew: I just got a MIDI keyboard that has buttons labeled HINDU, GYPSY and JAPAN, so I’m going to see what those do.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Brew: From The Songularity:
”I Have To Get My Car”, a song I wrote with my phone’s built-in predictive text.
”Bored With This Desire To Get Ripped”, a mashup of Morrissey lyrics and Amazon customer reviews of the P90X workout DVD, with a beautiful video by Eric Overton.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Brew: Al Gore is going to kill me. That may sound bleak, but it’s a statistics game. He hasn’t killed anyone yet and somebody’s got to be first. I’ve accepted that Al Gore will kill me, but it’s not too late for future generations. The single most useful thing we can do is to have as many children as possible. They’ll never outwit him, but with enough children, he’ll be badly outnumbered.
JAMIE LOFTUS (@jamieloftusHELP)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Loftus: I am really proud of the work I did on Irrational Fears for Comedy Central this year—it’s the first project I’ve done this collaborative that completely it feels the closest I’ve ever been to being myself onscreen and in a project without all my bullshit.
Paste: What are you working on now?
Loftus: I worked on the most recent issue of Playboy Magazine for reasons unclear to even myself, and continuing work on The Bechdel Cast with Caitlin Durante. My writing partner Michaela and I have been busting our asses on a project for eight months now. We just started renting an office space and plan to be huge bitches moving forward.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Loftus: I hope Mensa kills me and I get my gum disease under control. Other than that, I hope to surprise you.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Loftus: I have a stand-up clip that just dropped on the Just For Laughs YouTube channel whose lighting and my outfit choice has sent me into a body panic unlike I’ve ever experienced. The jokes are pretty good, though, I think.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Loftus: I’m gonna go with mudslide, but a really sticky one that tears out each and every one of my many pubes as I go down. Very painful stuff, but there’s someone out there who would find it kinky.
JON MILLSTEIN (@jmillstein)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
Millstein: My Mom’s Grace. This felt the best distillation of the kinda ‘tone’ I would like to hit!
Paste: What are you working on now?
Millstein: Working on more vids and pilots and whatnot! Also writing comedy vids for a secret app, which is of course how Seinfeld got his start.
Paste: Plans or hopes for 2019 (that you can talk about)?
Millstein: I want to find more ways to make more videos with more people! And commit to projects with people who are so good they intimidate me. I also wanna work on biting my fingernails more.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
Millstein: The hottest, newest clip I have is this iPhone vid.
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
Millstein: Betrayed by my own post-apocalyptic sewer cult!!
DAN ST. GERMAIN (@dsgermain)
Paste: What are you most proud of that you did in 2018?
St. Germain: Got to work at the Cellar, write on The White Correspondents Dinner, and record my album in Madison.
Paste: What are you working on now?
St. Germain: I’m writing on a new Comedy Central show Alternatino, which will premiere this spring. I’m hoping to continue to grow as a comic and person. There are only 20,000 polar bears left and most of them are really depressed.
Paste: Any hot new clips to promote?
St Germain: You can check out the link to my new album, Podcast, and report on Climate Change…_
Paste: Which global warming-related catastrophe do you think you’ll die in?
St. Germain: Although most of us will perish when the seas rise, I will probably end up having a heart attack on the toilet before that.
Header image courtesy of maxpixel.net.
Zack Bornstein is an Emmy-nominated and Peabody Award-winning writer from Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Good Cop, Alternatino, and The New Yorker, and can be found on Twitter at @ZackBornstein getting called a “cuck” by neo-Nazis.