It’s Chelsea versus Manchester City this Saturday, 12:30 p.m. Eastern kickoff, live on NBC. It’s first versus second in the Premier League, and Frank Lampard against his old team. So there’s only way to make this thing more exciting: a drinking game.
1. If Vincent Kompany scores for Manchester City
Celebrate his brilliant Belgian-ness with a hallowed Westvleteren XII, if you can get your hands on one.
2. But if Vincent Kompany gets sent off
Force yourself to drink a Stella Artois. Three gulp minimum.
3. For every tackle and header John Terry wins
Raise a glass of Fuller’s London Pride in salute.
4. If Frank Lampard scores
Chelsea fans drink a Bell’s Two Hearted Ale. Judas!
Manchester City fans drink a Bronx Rye Pale Ale, direct from NYC.
Frank Lampard himself will drink water. This is not a time to celebrate.
5. When Nemanja Matic crushes a Man City counterattack
Swallow some Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout form North Coast Brewing. Chelsea’s defensive midfielder may be Serbian instead of Russian, but he’s big and complex, just like this beverage.
6. If Pablo Zabaleta crosses for fellow Argentino Sergio Aguero to score
Pop open a bottle of delicious Bodega Catena Zapata Malbec Argentino. Don’t worry about the cost, just put it on Pablo’s bill.
7. If James Milner pulls off some unexpected trickery
Take a long, thoughtful swig of Badger Tanglefoot. Some drinkers find it a bit simplistic, others think it’s got everything you need.
8. When Eden Hazards’ fast feet leave a Manchester City defender for dead
Chelsea fans celebrate with a Rebellion Stepover. Drink the same to commiserate if/when Hazard neglects to perform his assigned defensive duty.
Happy drinking!