The Funniest Election Night Tweets of 2018
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There was an election last night. Who knew?
Okay, lots of people did. This was one of the highest turnout rates in history for a midterm election, and hopefully you were one of the millions who voted. That’s what we’re supposed to say—that exercising your right to vote is what matters most, even if we’d absolutely hate who you voted for. And look, we’re not going to tell you to not vote, even if, uh, we don’t like the people you planned on voting for. We would never say that. We might think it, but c’mon, we’d never say it.
We will say that tonight was, at times, exciting and empowering and inspiring, and also always stressful, and, uh, incredibly intoxicating. We mean that last part literally. This might’ve been a mixed night for democracy, but it was a fantastic night for Red Rock and Old Grand Dad.
It was also an okay night for Twitter. There’s never really a good night for Twitter—Twitter is always Twitter and thus always miserable—but if you know where to look and keep a rigorously maintained feed you probably had a solid night yukking it up with the Twitter clucks. Here are some of the good ones from the bad site tonight.
First off, though, a note: We’re going to assume you have some familiarity with all the major elections throughout the country. That you know who Kansas gubernatorial candidate Kris Kobach is and about his long war against voting rights. That you’re hip to Brian Kemp, the current Secretary of State of Georgia, refusing to give up official oversight over his own race for governor. That you know who Ted Cruz is, and why everybody hates him, and why his handsome and charismatic opponent Beto O’Rourke was beloved by all except a slim majority of Texas voters. Context is key and you gotta keep that in mind, okay?
Tomorrow is only about one thing to me: watching Ted Cruz get humiliated to the point where he cries on national television and all the haunted wasps inside him are so disgusted they finally leave to seek a new husk to call home.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 6, 2018
preemptively depressing myself because whatever good news we get tonight there will still be a double digit percent write in of Harambe
— Churlish (@Cryptoterra) November 6, 2018
The problem with having kids is that it’s not a great idea to start weeping or raging in their presence on election night AND they will ask you to explain tariffs.
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) November 6, 2018