Okay, lots of people did. This was one of the highest turnout rates in history for a midterm election, and hopefully you were one of the millions who voted. That’s what we’re supposed to say—that exercising your right to vote is what matters most, even if we’d absolutely hate who you voted for. And look, we’re not going to tell you to not vote, even if, uh, we don’t like the people you planned on voting for. We would never say that. We might think it, but c’mon, we’d never say it.
We will say that tonight was, at times, exciting and empowering and inspiring, and also always stressful, and, uh, incredibly intoxicating. We mean that last part literally. This might’ve been a mixed night for democracy, but it was a fantastic night for Red Rock and Old Grand Dad.
It was also an okay night for Twitter. There’s never really a good night for Twitter—Twitter is always Twitter and thus always miserable—but if you know where to look and keep a rigorously maintained feed you probably had a solid night yukking it up with the Twitter clucks. Here are some of the good ones from the bad site tonight.
First off, though, a note: We’re going to assume you have some familiarity with all the major elections throughout the country. That you know who Kansas gubernatorial candidate Kris Kobach is and about his long war against voting rights. That you’re hip to Brian Kemp, the current Secretary of State of Georgia, refusing to give up official oversight over his own race for governor. That you know who Ted Cruz is, and why everybody hates him, and why his handsome and charismatic opponent Beto O’Rourke was beloved by all except a slim majority of Texas voters. Context is key and you gotta keep that in mind, okay?
Tomorrow is only about one thing to me: watching Ted Cruz get humiliated to the point where he cries on national television and all the haunted wasps inside him are so disgusted they finally leave to seek a new husk to call home.
The problem with having kids is that it’s not a great idea to start weeping or raging in their presence on election night AND they will ask you to explain tariffs.
THREAD: I put my I Voted sticker on the back of my phone and now I can’t take a picture of it. And yeah, I know about mirrors but what’s the point of telling people “detoV I”? I will try to do better next time. Actually this doesn’t need to be a thread. Never mind. Got it in 1.
— Andy “Bring Out The Votes” Daly (@TVsAndyDaly) November 6, 2018
This isn’t a surprise album. You could have let us all know about this one earlier. pic.twitter.com/LZbDHKCf2k
No matter how the maps play out tonight, remember millions more Americans want progress over the past, hope over hate. That will shake out over time as young folks come of age and old motherfletchers start wanderin’ into traffic and shit. We’ll get there. I love y’all.
Look, no matter where you stand within the political spectrum on this #ElectionNight, at least you’ll walk away from November 6th, 2018 knowing this: You can smoke pot in Michigan and start drinking at 11am on Sundays in Atlanta.