Good morning Internet. Once again it is Monday in the world. The nightmare of last week has ended that the nightmare of this week may begin. Like the fabled Sisyphus, we have rolled our mighty boulder all the way to the top of the mountain, only to watch it roll inevitably back down: all our tweets tweeted, aggregated and forgotten, vanished to the fog of history. And yet, Camus says, we must imagine Sisyphus happy—after all, he didn’t have Twitter. Good times, back in time:
thinking about starting a podcast where we employ logic and reason to discuss the news of the day—with a dash of snark!!
— ????Insatiable Gun Taker???? (@crushingbort) March 21, 2018
REPORTER: What’s your blood like?
ZUCKERBERG: So, that’s actually a really important question. My blood is normal blood, it’s red, a deep human red, and it… you know, I could go on and on. But the key thing is that I have blood — gallons and gallons of it — and it’s normal.
locals after tweeting “am i the only one who loves watching documentarieson serial killers and conspiracy theories” for the 600th time pic.twitter.com/VPCEG51zJk
Christ it is annoying when my parents need help on their failing farm. I always get there and theres a hunk with a toolbox whos like “I’m helping your parents now, with my tools” and I’m like “get out of here!” and then we do end up falling into a marriage. every spring with this
before twitter you had to subtweet your ex by living a fulfilling life and finding happiness and hoping they’d run into you at the grocery store and it’d be obvious
FINAL SCENE OF BETTER CALL SAUL Mike Ehrmantraut: Ive finally finished developing my cancer injection formula. Now to administer this to a school teacher that none of us know Saul Goodman: Why? Are you crazy Mike: I have a funny feeling it will lead us to a few more adventures…
FALCONER: He must not be able to hear me, or something. FALCON: I can hear you fine, mate, I’m just not coming back. You see that gyre? The thing’s bloody widening! And by the looks of things the tide’s gone all blood-dimmed, I’m staying well clear.
Age of Ultron was a meh movie but one moment was hilariously on point. Ultron achieves sentience, looks at the internet for 5 minutes, and concludes that humanity must be destroyed.
Cambridge Analytica, Andrew versus Cynthia, Mueller keeps investigating, Tronc is still disintegrating, UMBC somehow won, Every teacher gets a gun, Campus inquisitions, JEWS DID THE WEATHER
