Watch Conan Transform Into a Trigger-Happy Texas Deputy

As long as you have a dark suit and a giant head, anyone can be a late-night talk show host, but it takes a bit more than that to become a Texas lawman. For one, you need the self-control to not shoot every living thing you see. That’s the lesson Conan O’Brien learned last night during a less than perfect trial run as a Johnson County deputy.

Filming his show in Dallas this week, Conan visited real-life Texas sheriff Bob Alford for a crash course in Lone Star law enforcement. For Conan, this mostly consisted of shooting a bunch of unarmed (thankfully simulated) civilians in the back. Despite this, Big Red’s performance still won him a tin star and stetson, proving that gross incompetence is no match for the power of celebrity. Check it out above.