Yesterday, a few hours after a sizable earthquake hit the west coast, a president best known from reality TV and his serial bankruptcies presided over a rain-drenched, self-glorifying military parade that his own military leaders were opposed to. During his “Salute to America” event, Trump spoke about Washington’s Continental Army “closing the airports” during the Revolution, in front of a crowd full of MAGA caps and QAnon believers who expected the long-dead John F. Kennedy Jr. to reappear and announce he’ll be Trump’s 2020 running mate. In other words, it was just about the most predictable Trump-era Fourth of July ever. Seriously, try to actually surprise us next time, people!
Obviously this kind of racket can’t go down without Twitter jumping all over it, and since we here at Paste are in the business of high-fiving good jokes, here are some of the funniest tweets about this perfectly Trumpian display. Check ‘em out and give the writers a follow, if you’re so inclined. Meanwhile let’s get ready for Trump’s Labor Day rally from the crown of the Statue of Liberty, when we find out that a significant undercurrent of internet-using Baby Boomers apparently believe that Ronald Reagan started a secret project in 1984 to mix his DNA with chimpanzees and the grey aliens from Area 51 in order to create a perfect president chimera who will take over on his 35th birthday when Trump resigns to become the new pope.