On the day I got my braces off a group of angry protesters took over the lobby of the building that housed my orthodontist’s office. They weren’t mad at Dr. Timothy Shaughnessy, DDS; they were protesting whatever latest bit of idiocy my duly elected Congressional representative had performed during his duties as the Speaker of the House. That dude’s name was Newt Gingrich; his office was in the same building as my orthodontist, and this story is only germane insofar as the first tweet in the batch below is probably my favorite of the week. It speaks to me personally, you see. I’d like to think that sometime tomorrow Dr. Shaughnessy, on a break from stripping metal off the teeth of young people, will pull out his phone and see this article shared upon his Facebook page, and remember those terrible days when his professional neighbor was also doing a pretty good job of wrecking this here country.
Hey, here are some tweets.
doctor: congrats on the baby! What are you going to name him
If we tax billionaires too much they won’t be able to buy the essentials they need, like NFL franchises, islands, and tax deductible think tanks founded exclusively to legitimize fringe beliefs about how billionaires shouldn’t have to pay taxes.
— Erin bill taylor’s voice Ryan (@morninggloria) November 9, 2019
there is an upcoming movie called 21 Bridges—more bridges than any of the previous movies
I view every audience like the electoral college. That gay teen in the front row? He’s Rhode Island. Small, gorgeous, an easy win. That girl’s boyfriend who didn’t want to come? He’s Michigan, babe— White, no college education and absolutely vital to my success for some reason.
people say New Yorkers are mean but a woman on the subway just tapped me on the shoulder to say “hey man the dude next to you is pissing himself you better book it”
Oh, me? Well, I only read Railway Modeller. That’s it. No other magazine. Give me Railway Modeller or don’t give me a magazine. pic.twitter.com/rNdhlamw3t
