Sorry in advance for such a heartbreaking preamble, but it’s weird being in comedy at such a dire, tragic time. People (particularly those on Twitter) malign thoughts and prayers, but at times it seems like it’s all we have. Thoughts, prayers, money, and jokes. Hug your loved ones, kiss your consenting friends, and send actual help to the victims of last weekend’s horrible act of terrorism.
Now, here are some spooOOooOOooky Tweets to get you in the mood for Halloween. I recently got into the Hellraiser series while recovering from the flu and all I can think about is attaining pleasure on a higher plane; I’m tired of this place.
My man posted me on his page now I’m camped out in the comments looking for the key terms “wow” and “lol” to see Who want smoke
Pretty sure the person who made this advertisement does not know what parenting is and they might not even know what human beings are pic.twitter.com/9aJx48T2Xd
I hate when the guy unveiling King Kong to the people of New York gives some stupid preamble about the primacy of man. Just show us the giant monkey you dipshit
Every girl chooses her Halloween costume based off one piece of clothing she really wants to wear (colonial-themed bra, gingham slip she wears to bed but wants to wear in public)…find which piece of clothing it is, compliment her on it and she is urs
Like 4 years ago I was at black lives matter rally at the capitol and this white dude got up and just recited the boondocks theme song as a spoken word poem and I still don’t know if he was trolling or not
