Wow, so, Kanye and Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande, huh? I’ve been toying with this theory that is you make over x amount of money you’re only allowed to make y posts per day. I’m ambivalent though, because who am I to take away someone’s ability to spiral in public. If I’m being real, the worst part of all of this was seeing everyone write their annual treatise on Mental Health and Celebrity. The internet has made us all experts on everything from a distance, and because of this we feel compelled to share our usually wrong opinions via microblogging or Instagram stories.
All that being said, here are my favorite posts from the past week, mostly about current events:
and jesus said, “there was only one set of footprints because sandpeople always ride single file to hide their numbers.”
I love being a doctor and whispering verses of the Quran into the ears of white babies, and therefore making them Muslim. The hospital I work for knows I have been doing this for years, but can’t strike me off because they are scared of being called racist
Jomney Sun died today of natural causes Got amped up on speed and broke into houses Bludgeoned people to death and wrote shit on their skin and left ‘em They finally got him and he went to San Quentin
I jokingly emailed Chuck E. Cheese about removing me from their banned list. They asked what city it happened in and I got this email back today (I didn’t do any of this) pic.twitter.com/fDdz85U5KA
