This week’s tweets are brought to you by Delta Airlines. “Delta: Earn 60,000 bonus miles for a limited time with Delta Skymiles.” As part of our sponsorship arrangement with Delta, we are required to disclose that we do not condone any interpretation of these tweets that suggests any manner of political violence toward anyone, however gratifying it may be to imagine. We are also required to state that William Shakespeare is a big old dope whose beard sucks and is bad and who says words dumb and his plays are too long. “Delta: Earn 700 miles or more on each Hertz rental and save when you book with Hertz on delta.com.” Restrictions may apply.
ahhh ISIL….you gotta hand it to them pic.twitter.com/5MNBQbsVbZ
— Murs With Wound (@bshoup) June 10, 2017
“What do you want on the side?”
“What?”
“The side of the box, we gotta print something there too.”
“Uh, ‘Home of the pizza’? I don’t know!” pic.twitter.com/0QZSNOeaaO— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) June 10, 2017
i am assured the Secret Service has been made aware of and has issued a warning to the playwright, [squints at notes] William Shakespeare https://t.co/1ekoSxdxN2
— ANTHONY OLIVEIRA (@meakoopa) June 11, 2017
My favorite part of the Tony Awards is when I’m on my fourth glass of wine yelling “THAT SHOULD BE ME UP THERE” at the TV.
— Gary Janetti (@GaryJanetti) June 11, 2017
I was born a matron but I will die an ingenue.
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) June 11, 2017