For a few brief shining minutes last week Donald Trump vanished from Twitter. He was there and then he was gone. He didn’t exist. It was good. Everyone was happy. Autumn had come to the west coast and brown leaves were blowing across the driveway. The dog found a big new stick which immediately replaced his big old stick. At least six different neighborhood children dressed as Pennywise for Halloween, and four neighborhood adults. A full moon hung briefly over the local mountain. The bowl of candy corn in the kitchen lasted barely half the week. People tweeted:
I mean, let’s try it and see how it goes https://t.co/HEfAVt1dRm
— Elizabeth Sampat (@twoscooters) November 3, 2017
just remembered this pic.twitter.com/Rzzubv22QC
— David Grossman (@davidgross_man) November 3, 2017
How did Theseus find his way out of the Labyrinth after killing the Minotaur? THREAD:
— Rachel (@underthenettle) November 2, 2017
Yeah I like BDSM
Bursting through the hospital doors
Directions from the receptionist
Sad conversation with a doctor
Miscarriage— MashAllPotatoes/DM???? (@mashallpotatoes) November 4, 2017
I NEVER restore all old tabs. If I lose them in a restart, they’re gone. It is a blessing to be set free from a prison of my own creation
— nicole boyce (@nicolewboyce) November 4, 2017
Date: Do you have any hobbies?
Me: Yes every day I log on to a website that poisons my mind and soul
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) November 4, 2017
I’m at the Papa John’s. I’m at the Nazi rallly. I’m at the combination Papa John’s Nazi rally.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 4, 2017
funny how no one is considering that maybe Paul Manafort is innocent of every single charge and Robert Mueller is jealous of him
— Tony Podcasta (@ByYourLogic) October 30, 2017
couldn’t quite get this down to 140 pic.twitter.com/gj5Oe9s5Fw
— winter wonder jam (@jhermann) October 30, 2017
tfw you got a good pun on the words “Stranger” and “Things” pic.twitter.com/hYmi5vPSBf
— The Christmas Creep (@HelloCullen) October 31, 2017
Yeah, it really sucks when someone brings their whole undeserving family with them somewhere… pic.twitter.com/CZDzj78iSy
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 1, 2017
david brooks is writing about humans like an alien observing our culture for the very first time. pic.twitter.com/si5oG9WMWn
— Joel D. Anderson (@byjoelanderson) November 3, 2017
Once my brother said Zero Dark Thirty was about “breaking into some guys house” & my grandpa got so mad he stood in the backyard for an hour
— Christin Bailey (@hexprax) November 2, 2017
this is the bracket of American Girl Dolls if they were going to fight each other pic.twitter.com/baMppTEVEg
— CK (@carrie_kuhn) November 2, 2017
What do we do with this information https://t.co/QvBu2akKKq
— Alex ???? (@_vivid_dreams) November 3, 2017
and i find it kinda funny
and i find it kinda sad
that antifa supersoldiers
just decapitated dad— DougExeter (@DougExeter) November 4, 2017
I’m happy with most of the Lion King cast but THIS could be a big mistake: pic.twitter.com/NHuU8Etzc7
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) November 1, 2017
Paul Manafort’s indictment proving what i have always said: rugs cost LITERALLY one million dollars pic.twitter.com/NK1nO0lNny
— Blythe Roberson (@blythelikehappy) October 30, 2017
“We’re going to lose ELEVEN seats in the next election” https://t.co/6WTgxl5RpC
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) October 31, 2017
Pretty weird that this season they started calling her “Eleven from Stranger Things” pic.twitter.com/9D9jEJEiCw
— Joseph Carnegie (@JoeCarnegie) October 31, 2017
500 years ago on this very day, Martin Luther invented improv in Chicago. it was brought to Wittenberg shortly after by the UCB 4 pic.twitter.com/UhyQ1gvX8g
— ????churly whirly???? (@chumbawalden) October 31, 2017
It’s official, folks: sex criminal Woody Allen’s number one fan was the guy who did 9/11. pic.twitter.com/dlgQPTYRLT
— Kaleb Horton (@kalebhorton) November 2, 2017
how has nobody tweeted about the moment in stranger things ep 203 where joyce turns to dustin and yells “stranger things kids, watch out”
— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) November 2, 2017
as if twitter employees don’t have a hilarious bit where they hover over the delete button on trump’s account and go ‘whoaaahhh hahahaha’
— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) November 3, 2017
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) November 2, 2017
any time your campaign manager gets arrested for conspiracy against the United States you gotta mark that down as a win https://t.co/ExE72kgghg
— shrill (@theshrillest) October 30, 2017
I CANT BREATHE SHSHS pic.twitter.com/eeQLIqh9cH
— . (@morlejs) November 2, 2017
when you spot the world-famous Spider-Man from page, stage, and screen pic.twitter.com/8wtYUdtEK0
— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) November 5, 2017
House of Cards S06E01 (2018) pic.twitter.com/4Zrhamtuim
— Xmas Early Adopter (@k_morrissey) October 31, 2017
“NOBODY EVER HELPS ME IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE” pic.twitter.com/jSCbylHdqt
— Shen @MFF (@Fireflufferz) November 4, 2017
me every time i do the White Person Half Jog Across Traffic: oh christ i’m doing the white person half jog across traffic
— rowan (@hazeIwood) November 1, 2017