For weeks people have been sending me emails and DMs with the same, simple demand: “Seth, please, tell us who you think are the funniest characters in Veep, in reverse order if you don’t mind.” Well folks, the truth is I think they are all pretty funny, except for that one congressman’s dumpy aide who always says pathetic stuff at that congressman’s behest. I don’t care for him very much at all. But if the people demand a ranking, then a ranking they shall have. Regrettably I must exclude many less-prominent characters, like Catherine or that one Scandinavian Prime Minister lady, who are very funny but don’t really do enough to merit Top 10 status, if you know what I mean. These have been hard choices, but that’s what pop culture journalism is all about: hard choices. Also premiere parties, and emailing people back a week later. Okay, here we go, HBO’s Veep’s Ten Funniest Characters.
10. Dan Egan
Dan is a charmingly witty back-stabbing ladder-climber who would probably rank higher if he didn’t feel so apart from the main action this season. In earlier seasons he was perpetually jockeying for power, a quest that was much more satisfying when he was competing against the likes of Amy and Kent and Ben and Richard than a mad-with-not-all-that-much-power news anchor whom we just met. A worthy hero must have worthy villains. Sorry, Dan!
9. Sue Wilson
Oh Sue, how we miss you. Would that you had not forsaken Selina for President Montez, though on the other hand, what would Selina have done with you anyway. One of the few characters on this show with a moral center, maybe, Sue instantly enlivens every scene she’s in with her deadpan alone, an enchanting stone-faced indifference to whatever disaster is currently unfolding. May she come back soon.
8. Mike McClintock
Mike epitomizes the incompetent DC player uniquely ill-suited to the job he has, an intrinsically funny role that, again, was much more consistently entertaining when he was in the White House. Remember that bit when he dashed into a meeting after leaving it to check that they weren’t talking about firing him? Which they weren’t? And then in the next episode it turned out that they were? That was great. He has had some good bits this season, like when he managed to commit election fraud, but it’s been much more hit-or-miss with him away from the podium.
7. Amy Brookheimer
Is Amy the Huma Abedin of Veep? I think it’s either her or Gary, unless Gary’s the Doug Band and Amy’s the Huma. (Do people know who Doug Band is? Here’s a good primer.) Let’s say it’s Amy. Anyways, as the Huma Abedin of Veep, Amy is equal parts pitiable and contemptible, the architect of her own terrible hell tending to Selina Meyer’s every maniacal whim. My favorite Amy storyline is the one where Selina’s friend Karen comes to advise her but only ever offers perfect non-statements, which Amy recognizes as bullshit by Selina doesn’t, and Amy goes crazy and quits. “You have achieved nothing apart from one thing: The fact that you are a woman means we will have no more women presidents because we tried one and she fucking sucked. Goodbye, ma’am.”