Archie Andrews has seen some stuff, man. In the nearly 75 years since his debut, Archie has taken an assassin’s bullet for his gay senator friend, watched most of Riverdale become flesh-hungry zombies and survived an infamous run-in with the Punisher. This week, Dark Horse pits the gang against a much more intelligent, relentless foe than Undead Jughead in Archie vs. Predator.
Yes, that Predator.
Writer Alex de Campi (who is simultaneously murdering another group of teens with Carla Speed McNeil over in Image’s No Mercy) and artist Fernando Ruiz have promised that this unusual mini-series will pull no punches. Freud’s favorite crab-faced alien hunter will use his entire arsenal to brutally flay and dismember Archie’s wholesome teen pals as they romp through Costa Rica on vacation. The insane violence (those aren’t red freckles on Archie’s chest, after all) is made all the more surreal by Ruiz’s classic Archie Comics style, a constant reminder that this is a real comic book. Welcome to the new Golden Age.
With Archie Comics’ willingness to have fun with its longest running and most beloved property, Paste considered a few other universes America’s Favorite Teenager should visit in the future…
Archie meets Sex Criminals
The “Jughead” is probably a weird sex move, right? If not, Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky can definitely come up with something equal parts disturbing and arousing. Archie Comics has done such a great job avoiding sexual content for decades, it seems entirely likely that time really would stop if Archie ever brimped someone.
Archie meets Prometheus
It may be tempting to follow Archie vs. Predator with Archie vs. Aliens, but Dark Horse should go full bonkers and pit the Riverdale gang against Ridley Scott’s beautiful, unintelligible mess, Prometheus. Just imagine Ethel Muggs pregnant with Dilton Doiley’s alien hybrid baby, Principal Weatherbee beaten to death with Miss Grundy’s noggin, and Jughead crushed to death by a giant hamburger that he clearly could have avoided, all wrapped up in pseudo-philosophical musings on the nature of creation. It writes itself. Clear off some shelf space for the Eisners now.
Archie meets Southern Bastards
If Riverdale is the quintessential American town, Jason Aaron and Jason Latour’s Craw Country is the amalgamation of everyone’s worst fears about the portion of our country that sits below the Mason-Dixon line: violent poverty, rampant racism and high school football placed on a pedestal above all else. Archie, Moose and Reggie have all tossed the pigskin for Riverdale High. Maybe it’s time they hit the gridiron against Coach Boss’ Runnin’ Rebs? Don’t piss that man off, though—it didn’t work out very well for the last guy who came to town.
Archie meets Born Again Christian Archie
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