Weed Infused Wine, Beer and Coffee. Because 4/20 or Whatever

My dudes and dudettes and dudx’s, your central nervous system is going to be so. Freaked. Out. Stimulant? Depressant? Both? It’s not clear. What is clear is that the Cannabinification of all categories of food and beverage is in full flow. Canna-beer? Check. Weedwine? Check. Pot of pot-coffee? Check-a-roonie. Your smart-water is probably being infiltrated by Maui Wowie and its ever-expanding cohort of selectively bred friends at this very moment. Whether that makes it any smarter is probably up for debate, but I do have certain friends who claim their craftiness is built on a system of killing off extra brain cells, like culling sickly ruminants from the herd to remove them from the gene pool. I am not stating as a fact that this is the nature of neuroplasticity and I will disavow every word of this article if you claim I led you up the garden path and that garden ended up being full of stuff that gave you a tummy ache or cirrhosis of the liver, dig? I’m just saying it’s a theory. I will go on record saying no one in this country needs Stupid-Water so as always, please read those labels, folks.

Now, as you already know, alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. Cannabis is a cannabinoid, and our bodies have special receptors that grab onto the freaky-deakies in pot. Fun fact: The greatest concentration of cannabinoid receptors in the human body is located in the uterus. We’re not totally sure why, but the prevailing theory is that an endogenous cannabinoid called anandamide (after the Sanskrit word for “bliss”) causes women to forget how painful having a baby actually is, because if we remembered what that was really like, we’d all totally stop reproducing. Tell me that doesn’t put the Benzadrine in your Ovaltine. Seriously.

But alcohol and cannabis together? What is the overall effect of that? According to Science, combining these alterants is (a) not for everyone, (b) potentially blissful, and© there are actually totally different metabolic processes that occur when you smoke a joint and then have a drink versus have a drink and then light up. I’m not sure if Science has had time to catch up with Industry regarding the Weedification of All Things so there might not be a lot of rock-solid data available on what happens when they are ingested simultaneously.

What I am clearly saying is that it is your patriotic duty to Empirical Science to collect these data. If you’re into the craft cocktail thing, check out this article we just ran about weed infused bourbon cocktails. If you can’t fathom doing all that work, don’t fret. Here are a few ways to test the hypothesis that weed and booze are good friends.

Rebel Coast Sauvignon Blanc

Sauvignon Blanc has always been known for its “grassy” character, but Rebel Coast Winery has taken that to the next level: They’ve just announced the launch a premium Sauvignon Blanc which, through a patent-pending process, has been stripped of its alcohol and fortified with an active extract of Le Chronique. No hangovers! But you might find yourself jonesing for artisanal goat cheese. This crisp and elegant Sauvignon Blanc is soon to be joined by release a refreshing cannabis-infused rosé and a sparkling wine, as well as a line of Cannabidiol-infused (CBD) wines with medicinal benefits, but no psychotropic effects, in the second half of 2018. Rebel Coast will offer the wine in additional states with recreational cannabis allowances and throughout Canada in the coming months.

• Note: for those in pursuit of the fabled “crossfade” effect, you’ll want to put this baby on a vertical that includes some traditional, not de-alcoholized alcohol.

Blue Moon with THC?

Okay, not really. But kind of. The guy that invented Blue Moon (Keith Villa) has announced he will release a THC-infused beer by the end of the year. Blue Moon has often been categorized as a gateway beer because it’s often the first “crafty” beer style people try before diving deep into the world of actual craft beer. So far, we don’t know the name of the beer or even the style. We know it will be non-alcoholic and contain THC and it will be available in Colorado. The name of the new company is Ceria, but I’m hoping Villa has the cajones to call his new THC beer “Gateway.”

Brewbudz

Fan of the wake and bake? What about really putting the pot in your coffeepot?

Brewbudz- has a product line of cannabis infused coffee, tea and cocoa in case you prefer your cannabis caffeinated. Eco-freakos take note: this stuff’s Keurig compatible and 100% compostable in single-brew pods, because man, an entire pot of coffee is, like, one big plastic hassle, right? Your Peet’s Mocha Java will develop such an inferiority complex it’s, like, not even funny.